To catch the crazy bear you must think like a crazy bear(Vlad sonya mission 2)

"Hey vlad whats the difference between a kunai and a g spot... A guy will look for the kunai hahaha" She laughed. Her and her buddy vlad had been talking as they watched the clouds roll by. They had become close after their mission and the cookies they shared. Their next mission promised to be crazy as this one was picked by the pink haired girl. Apparently there was an animal who became super inteligent due to a forbidden jutsu. The bear had become essentric and sophisticated as the jutsu dictated. The bear was to be captured in order for the intel unit to find out more of the jutsu. The bear was rumored to come out only between the times of 3 to 5 in order to have tea before returning to the woods, he was a very punctual bear. He was rumored to be wearing a campers sport jacket glasses and fedora he stole. In addition he spoke with an english accent despite his clearly being raised in japan. Despite this the two ninja would have to be brave and cautious as he was still a 400 pound massive monster with sharp ass claws and fangs. It was just about three the insanity was about to begin.

“Don’t go around telling jokes about G spots when you still have a flat chest Sonya.” Vladimir stated before stuffing the last cookie he had in his mouth savoring every bite before swallowing. Somehow they had survived being in each other’s company for a whole day and today they were going on another mission together. This mission was quite the odd one as they were hunting down a bear that was made intelligent by some forbidden jutsu and it was now walking around in clothes it stole and drinks tea. “Is this even legit…” Vladimir had to ask as this just sounded completely and utterly ridiculous and why would they allow such a thing to exist? Why not just kill it?

"Ow that was below the belt vladdy" she said laughijg and lightly pushing the funny guy over. She didnt see that coming vlad with tbe burn of the day. She had been proud that hers were bigger than other girls her age but compared to other women he was right they just werent ready to get the attention they deserved. Sonya fell back and put her hands over her head and continued to watch the clouds. Vlads question would arise as she began to think of how many colours were in the sky today. "I hope so" sonya replied "or else we came out here for nothing... dont you want to see the bear though its probably hillilarious." No sooner did the young girl say these words that the bear appeared. " Whats all dis then" the bear said finally reaching its destined spot. Just on time the rumors of the bears punctuality were true. "Why is there some old children in my woods you wouldnt be after me tea and crumpets" the bear asked loudly. "what a loud fellow" sonya replied to vlad as they both stared at the beast. " Fuck hes even bigger than i thought she said nudging him lightly. " So whats the plan" she whispered to him.

Vladimir would stumble due to the unexpected push by Sonya but he would quickly regain his footing. “There is no way that this could a legitimate mission, Sonya. Firstly I’ve never heard of a forbidden jutsu turning animals intelligent and if that was the case why didn’t they just hunt down the bear themselves to study it? Why would they send two kids, well a teen and a little girl, to capture an abomination?” Vladimir said before taking a seat on a nearby tree stump. If this was actually true, what if the bear decided to attack them? They had no combat knowledge whatsoever so they’d be screwed but this was just a false mission anyways so he didn’t care. Before he could finish his rant however the sound of someone speaking had caught his attention. Turning his head to the direction of voice, his eyes would widen at the utter disbelief at what he was witnessing. “No…fucking…way…” Vladimir muttered before standing on his feet. There was an actual talking bear! With a bloody English accent! The hell? “We’re not here for your tea and crumpets…My friend here wanted to have a tea party so we chose this spot…that’s all…” He said as he looked upon the massive creature hoping it would believe him

"Oh allright then" the bear replied seemilingly pleased with the kindness vlad had shown it. "Ya totally you stupid fucking uh i mean gentlemanly handsome bear" she caught herself. She was rude to damn near everyone when they first met and this giant creature wouldnt be special. The bear had started sniffing a nearby tree no doubt searching for hunny. Sonya had to laugh despite it being civilized it was still a bear at heart. The bear had stopped and looked at them " very well then, if you are here for a tea party as you claim tell me whats the best kind of tea." Sonya knew nothing about tea other than the imaginary ones her and her firends used to drink when they were 5. "Um candy" she said quickly. She should have probably waited for vlad to answer this one after all the tea party lie was his idea he probably knew something about it. It was a stupid question anyway though how can someones favourite tea let you know if their lying. It was possible that this bear wasnt too bright made sense though it had just befome civilized it was amazing it was as smart as it was. Sonya laughed nervously as she waited for vlad to say something but judging by his face he was still in shock by the impossible situation they found themselves in.

He didn’t know which was more surprising, a talking bear asking about tea or Sonya’s answer. Seriously though would she say candy?! Then again this mission was so damn ridiculous he wouldn’t be surprised if the bear had agreed with her, oh how he would’ve preferred repainting the Kage’s office. “Umm… how about honey tea?” Vladimir stated. In truth he hated tea and though he had known a variety of tea types, he had no idea what a bear would like so he took a wild guess due to seeing the man bear thing sniffing around for honey, if shit got out of hand they would just run and forget this ridiculous mission.

"Honey tea of course good answer vlad" the girl said suprised she didnt think of it. "Honey tea yes i believe that is right" the bear said aa hecontinued searching for the honey on the tree. The bear stood up and said "fine then fellow tea lovers if ye a friend of the bears help me get this honey out of this here tree." Intresting was this a trap she thought. If the bear wanted to fight it wouldnt need to resort to such tactics it could simply rush them. "Sure vlad would be glad to help ya" sonya volounteered him to come close to the bear without thinking. If they didnt help him he would get suspicious and the mission would fail. Sonya smiled her usual innocent smile as she slapped vlad on the back. With any luck the boy wouldnt be the scared type and could handle being around the bear without showing him fear or attacking prematurly this mision would require a lighter touch to be successful.

“Wait…What?” Vladimir said as he was volunteered to get the honey from the tree. Why was he the one who was risking his neck for a mission she wanted? Why wasn’t she doing this? A low growl would escape from his lips as he made his way to the tree where the bear stood and sighed. He hated bees, not because he was allergic or afraid, he just found them annoying anyways buzzing around and stinging unsuspecting victims. But he had no intentions of getting stung today, and if the bees made the mistake of trying to attack him, he would ensure that the bear and Sonya would get stung as well.

Rolling up his sleeves he would use his ability to release his bones from his body and would grow a long blade-like bone out the palm of his right hand. He would then run towards the bee hive and when he had arrive a few meters before it, he would leap in the air and used the bone blade to cut it down from the tree. Instead of landing near the hive however, he would ensure that he had landed as far away from it as possible in case the bees came out.

Tech used:

Something told her vlad didnt want to go near the bear as he shot needles in her with his eyes. Well what did he want her to do it wasnt like she was gonna go over there fuck that.
and someone needed to help the retarded bear with his hunny dilemma. Geniusly vlad cut the hive down using his ninjutsu technique and ended up way away from the hive. unfortunatly the bear wouldnt be so lucky as he was standing right there when the hive dropped.
the bees came out fast and would be pissed. "Uh oh" she thought as the bees came out swarming around the bear. She began doing handsigns in order to use the great gust of wind to blow them away from the bear and at vlad. Vlad would have to use a technique that would allow him to take out a large number of them quickly if they were to take the bee hive.

“Of course.” Vladimir muttered to himself after witnessing what had just happened, and even though he didn’t have a technique that would be able to take them all out at once he did have a plan. Forming the clone seal, Vladimir would create an illusionary clone. The clone would then run towards the bees, which would in turn, draw their attention causing them to attack the clone or try to as the clone was intangible so when they tried to sting it, they would just phase through. The real Vladimir would run towards the now free bee hive, grabbed it and ran as far away as he could from the now busy bees.

Spoiler:

"Nice one vlad" she said as she seen him quickly divise a devisionary tactic in order to grab the now vacant bee hive. "Bloody hell that bugger wat stung me" the bear yelled. Despite their best efforts ot seemed the bear was still made a bees bitch. Damn sonya thought as they ran further into the woods. She didmt know much about medical techniques just yet but probably knew enough to get the stinger out. The bear started crying as they ran further claiming hed pass out from the pain. "Aww she thought hes not so tough or not tough at all actually. How did he survive in the woods for so long.after a while they came to a clearing where a running brook was going into a nice clear pond. The bear took the oppertunity to go swimming and get a drink. That actually looked prety sweet she said as she stuck her face in the water like the bear had. Aww gross a seaweed touched her face and she freaked out. The bear had begun to laugh temporaraly forgetting about the stinger in his ear. "Vlad we should keep him dont you think every kick ass team needs a great ninja mascot even if hes not the bravest" she said in vlads ear laughing.

“That was close…” Vladimir muttered to himself a safe distance away from the menacing bees. He would quickly inspect himself for any bee stings and when he had confirmed that he was sting free he would inspect the hive to see if there were any lingering bees. Now since the bees had finally dispersed, Vlad would make his way towards the talking bear and his teammate. When he had finally caught up to them he would see the bear taking a swim and Sonya freaking out for whatever reason. Tossing the hive to the left he would make his way to Sonya and sighed. “I’d rather not have a giant talking bear following me around.” He stated coldly before sitting down on the ground.

Sonya stuck her tounge out at him as her request for a mascot had been denyed. Maynbe he was right hiwever the bear wasnt exactly tough and it was their mission to bring him.back to hq for examination. Afrer watching him.play in the river a bit more she decided it be best to get this mission over with. Hey i know of a great tea drinking place will.you come with us she asked friendly. I good old tea drinkin place that sounds lovely love why dont you lead the way he replied with his usual level of sophostication. Vlad and sonya would lead him to the capture point where the intel devision would be waiting for him. Before the bear could know that he had been tricked the two kids would have allready disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Sorry bear but this is for your own good she said as she watched the older ninjas subdue the bear and put him to sleep. When he awoke he would be a normal bear again and could live a normal life with his friends.

Well that was a bit anticlimactic. Vladimir thought as he watched as the elder shinobi managed to revert the bear back to normal, whatever was considered normal these days anyways. “Well I’ve had my fill of exciting adventures for the today, about time we collected our reward and headed home.” He said looking over at Sonya. They had done some rather mediocre missions lately but they had to start somewhere, now all they needed was a sensei and another team mate and they would be able to begin their journey into the ninja world. “Let’s do this again Sonya.” Vladimir said before turning away and leaving the area.

Approved