Love, Ephemeral

Time was a thing created by man, to measure many things: how long till you get to see a loved one, how long you get to love someone, how long until your time, or just to know when to wake up the next day. Rainer considered himself just as much an animal as he did a man, though that didn't mean he was exempt from man's great creation. To him it was just yesterday he was in Jasmine's kitchen, the two fucking as if that's all there was to life.

In that moment, to him, it was. He didn't care about the armor he collected for Cyrus, no far from it. His only thoughts were on him and what felt like his, the armor she'd made for him, her soft supple lips against his, the warmth between her legs, and her. Yet saddly, days became weeks, weeks months, and soon he found himself looking at a year gone by. The Elders slowly making him their whipping dog, or so it felt. It was time he did something for himself, and seeing an old friend was just what he wanted.

Sex was great, but that's not what he wanted. He'd hoped to sit down and catch up, maybe drink, have a laugh or two. This was his first true friend aside from Konrad, she took his virginity, she showed genuine concern for him and helped him see that anger wasn't all that was there for him. She'd meant more to him then he ever cared to admit aloud. He'd even left Konrad behind to keep everything in order, plus the smell of human pheromones weren't exactly his favorite things. Something about ass sweat. Anyway, it was his day to give his friend all the attention she deserved after abandoning her for so long. He only hoped she wouldn't be upset.

Wasn't long before he reached her place, the path embedded into his memory like words carved into a tree after a long summer with a love you'd never see again. Yet as he arrived something was off, something he just couldn't put his finger on. Slowly he knocked on the door, waiting a moment before knocking again. "Jasmine. It's Rainer." He said before opening the door, slowly stepping in. The feeling of imbalance hanging steadily. Yet what was wrong?

The first thing he would notice is the cold, the heat wasn't on nor where the lights and with the sun setting the natural light that spilled in would eventually fade and plunge the house into darkness. Dust littered some places others looked lived in, a couple of empty sake jars near the trash from Rika's visits. Even Jasmine's pets were no where to be seen so that sense of wrongness that Rainer could feel that sounded about right. Some animals could distincted emotions know when their owners were feeling depressed and react accordingly, might not be the same process but for those empathetic enough and sensitive to emotion the house practically radiated sadness, regret and despair. The reasons behind such feeling were simple though if Rainer had been here he probably would of known.

Unfortunately he wasn't maybe it would of made a difference maybe it wouldn't have but it seemed like the time Jasmine needed him most, he wasn't present. Rika had stopped by, Rika constantly did whether to talk about her wanting to retire or her relationship problems with Cyrus or even to try and keep her updated on the goings of the Shogunate but Rainer, gone poof without a trace. Though Jasmine didn't exactly keep time anymore, no that was a lie she did keep time she counted seconds, kept track of the minutes, added up the hours, marked off the days, cried through the months and dreaded the years since Rebecca had been gone. It was what she did every waking moment even when she busied herself working and making food runs or official stops in the Shogunate due to business. All she could do is wait, wait and hope that Becca would come back from her trip but she was beginning to think she wasn't coming back and ultimately that terrified her.

Still for those with acute senses running water could be heard in the distance leading to the bathroom, and if Rainer followed the sounds to it's source he would come across an open bathroom door clothes on the floor and a Jacuzzi bubbling with water. At first glance it would look empty but a close look would reveal a naked Jasmine underneath the water simply laying at the bottom eyes closed as if she were sleeping. She wasn't moving and the steady rise and fall of her chest which was synonymous with breathing was absent, why she was underwater, how she ended up in such a position who knew. Though the sort of scene anyone walking in would stumble upon would make only the most callous of individuals not start at the sight, much worse for someone who actually cared for her.

It wasn't long before he could feel it. The sadness, no this felt so much worse. A long great depression was here, his soul almost wept upon entry it was so strung and pungent. It didn't take long after that that he'd notice the rest of the place. Dust ridden, devoid of light, or life for that matter.

A place that was once full of life, to the point people were actually attempting to create it, had fallen so far. Was she even here? Maybe she'd left town to head to Epsilon, they traded a great many things there. So any type of merchant would probably look forward to a trip in that part of the world. Yet there was a sound, rushing water, hard to forget what that sounded like. With the lack of...anything it wasn't hard to pick up. So cautiously he followed the noise, his rested at on the blade at his side. Something to help keep him away from the melancholic aura that would drag him down if left unchecked.

Soon enough he'd found himself standing in an empty bathroom staring at a bathtub filled with water and soon to overflow. There she was, naked and laying at the bottom. From the way it looked, she wasn't breathing. Taking a step forward he reached in with one hand and pulled her out by the shoulder. Laying her on the ground slowly he pressed his head against her chest, trying to ignore the fact she was naked, he attempted to listen for a heartbeat.

Though as calmly as he was handling the situation he was frantic, making a heartbeat the hardest thing to hear. One thing is if it was anyone, he'd count them as dead by now and just attempt to save them, accepting their passing early. It wasn't anyone, it was Jasmine, someone he cared about. Pressing his lips against hers he let out a deep breath in her mouth before pumping her chest. His mind was everywhere, she was all he could think about. His left eye though, just seemed to water.

Jasmine was in another world, a deep meditative trance taught to her as a child so that she could numb out the pain in preparation for using her Roads. Recently she had found that it worked on emotional pain as well but at the drawback or making her seem lifeless left in a semi-concious dream like state. Thus when her bearings changed on the outside she didn't wake up immediately, she didn't feel the panic of Rainer checking her heart beat to make sure she was still alive nor did she register the jostling of her body as he tried to preform CPR. It wasn't until she air was forcibly pushed into her lungs that she would emerge from it eyes widening and flailing a bit while gasping before coughing repeatedly. She would look around her surroundings in confusion initially wondering if it was Becca that had grabbed her but upon seeing Rainer the surprise filling her eyes would dim before she returned to her usual despondent state.

She would sit up pulling in her legs before looking at the wet floor and only speaking whens he collected her thoughts having guessed the reason that he looked like he was about to cry. "I wasn't trying to kill myself if that's what your thinking.. I just fell asleep." Jasmine said glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, hoping that her quick response would stem any sudden reactions or demands for an explanation. She was depressed sure, but not enough to end her life, Rebecca was coming back, it was only a matter of time if she had to wait for years she would wait but she knew she would come back eventually. Perhaps she had just gotten lost on her way back and had to take several detours, she wasn't ever good with directions after all. Still Rainer had arrived, and now she was left wondering why he was here whether it was something he wanted as if it was another conjugal visit then she would have to turn him away just like the others. "Or maybe Cyrus wants something else, or perhaps he's going to pay me for his armor." she thought to herself, though making no effort to move from the floor nor conceal her nakedness it was her house after all and he had stumbled upon her bathing so she didn't feel like she had to put on clothes. Besides he had seen her naked multiple times anyways it's not like anything changed besides her losing some weight and gaining two new tattoos.

He slammed against her chest for what felt like an eternity until finally she rose from the dead like a zombie. He wasn't exactly ready for that, which was made apparent when he fell backwards. His back slamming into tub, and his already drenched arm landing back into the tub. This was annoying, he was glad she was alive, but his entire arm was soaked and then some.

Pulling his arm out of the tub he let out a clearly audible sigh. His dry hand wiping his face, he waited a bit before speaking. Giving her a minute to stew in whatever it was this was. If she wasn't commiting suicide the hell was this? Rainer looked her up and down, new tattoos, weight loss. He sniffed subtly, her scent had been altered.

"Weight loss, home a mess, odd..."activities", and your smell...or lack thereof. I came by to see my friend, didn't expect to find you like this. What happened?" He was concerned yea, but at the same time confused. Hesitantly he reached over to her, his hand over her thigh. Though slowly he pulled it away, he didn't need his eyes to tell him something was wrong. All he needed was that scent, she smelt weird, different, the sex was gone. Was this even Jasmine? He wasn't sure, he just knew there was trouble in paradise.

Jasmine would shift her head though would be hit with a dizzy spell causing her to close her eyes and tip over falling onto her side. "Oh right, I haven't eaten today." Where her thoughts right before landing on the cold wet ground, at least if he didn't have the speed to catch her before she collided with the floor. Regardless if he did rather than try and make an effort to get up she would just lay there limp her energy spent she was hungry but nauseous and weak due to food deprivation, how long had it even been since her last meal, she lost track o- no not really she had a perfect inner clock. It was more like she hadn't felt like it, why eat all she wanted to do was meditate, and work, sleep only led to nightmares anyways and other than meditation being in a working trance or unconsciousness was the only time she felt at peace anymore.

"Becca left. It was my fault, I was such a slut that she got tired of it and left with her ex. She said she'd be back, a vacation but it's been over a year. Jazz is..gone. The clan did something to her her body is alive but her mind is gone she's not her she's different and I won't ever get her back. So they are both gone, that's what happened I lost the two people I loved the most in this world and now I'm just left with this emptiness and pain." Was what she would of liked to say but when she opened her mouth the words just didn't come out instead she would crumple the delicate balance of her emotional state would teeter of the edge and she would begin to sob. There was nothing to say, he couldn't fix this, she couldn't fix this no one could fix it and somehow everything was her fault. This agony that she was in was a torture of her own making her choices led to her misery and that is why it hurt so much.

On some level Rainer's wondering was correct. Was this even Jasmine? No not really Jasmine as he knew died, this person no this leftover of a person was just a shell of her former self. Rika saw it, she accepted it and still made an effort to try and be her friend despite the drastic changes, whether Rain would do the same was up to him.

Her lack of a response was enough, silence was his home. He'd at times prefer that over a conversation any day, but on this one he only had questions. Why'd this happen? To her of all people? At times he wished things could be like that of a naive child's fantasy, everyone doing cool stuff and nothing bad ever happening. Yet, those thoughts were never his own, only the things he'd overheard from the other Hokkai children as they played outside his window in Ibara. To think, it wasn't until now that he'd truly envied those kids and their imaginations.

What would he be? A Rathalos tamer? No, that was far to obvious. He'd be the Kage of the world?! No far too ambitious and too childish.

She fell in what seemed like slow motion to him, and without batting an eye there he was. Holding her up just inches above the floor.

He'd be a samurai, his blade alone would speak volumes enough so he'd never have to, word of his skills would reach across the land like the light of a peaking sun at dawn. Casting a shadow among those who'd seek to strike down what he'd held so near and dear to him. The people would sing tales of him, yea...that sounded perfect.

Placing her up right he took off his sir coat wrapping it around her. Damn thing just got cleaned too. With careful hands he lifted her from the floor, carrying her as carefully as he could. The way he'd see his powerful samurai self carrying his bride into their home for the first time. He could feel her hunger pangs, and knew exactly what he'd do now. Taking her into the kitchen he'd sit her at the dining table, and slowly begin to rummage through her cabinets and refrigerator looking for things to cook.

She was caught, covered and lifted not that she noticed anything but the last part because the change of elevation would cause her to reflexively attempt to grip onto a solid surface so she didn't fall, Said solid surface at this time being Rain. They would travel quickly through the house though her thoughts were anywhere but focusing on reality no instead the let the sadness flow through her the tears unending. Once they got the the dining table she would lean forward and put her head in her folded arms not looking up. Food there was food between Rika's constant visits and Flame being self sufficient enough to speak for himself her fridge and cabinets had adequate food stores. No her not having food to eat was never the problem though part of it did have to do with making the food as that was effort for an activity that she was less and less inclined to do.

So she would remain in place not moving while Rain bustled about about to cook for her she her sobs completely muffled by her positioning the only indication that she was crying being her trembling body. She would stop eventually when her tears ran dry and when the heaving just felt painful she didn't cry often anymore usually she kept a better control over her emotions and used what she felt to smith. Perhaps that's why most of her recent creations were coming out so well, after all art is pain and while she didn't claim to be an artist her primary profession was in fact a craft. The finest smiths were said to forge weapons and equipment that were considered masterpieces born out of some deep emotional investment or drive pushing them to forge with every blow bring powered by said emotion. Fortunately or unfortunately for her, depending on how one saw it, she had that in spades now.

He didn't understand it, how could a member of his pack be in this much pain and he not feel it?  All he knew was it was his fault. Maybe it was something he subconsciously repressed until he couldn't ignore it anymore, spite maybe. For the lack of availability left him with feelings that could never be returned.

Though it wouldn't be long before he'd feel it again. Their connection like the day he'd made it. Konrad howled in the distance, their connection never wavering. He wasn't entirely in the know, but he knew enough. It wouldn't be long before the lower animals began to follow their beta. They were mourning, giving their condolences. The collective "choirs" sung a sad tune that caused hearts to sink among the hokkai. Reminiscent of the day they'd lost their own to Wolf.

Rainer could hear it loud and clear, though Jazz was another story. It wasn't long before he'd found stuff, he couldn't quite remember her eating habits, so he'd begun making a plethora of things. A steak sizzling loud in a pan, his arms rocked back and forth as he stir fried some vegetables, and of course a pot of rice off to the side. Normally he wouldn't do so much at once, but he'd figure he'd leave her with some leftovers.

As the pots and pans boiled and sizzled he began to hum, not too loud, but if she stopped sobbing a moment she easily hear him. Every few seconds a few words from the song would slip, allowing his singing voice to be heard, something he wasn't very keen on sharing. No this is not my guitar, I'm bringing it to a friend. No I can't sing, I'm only humming along. At this point he'd figured it out, she was stuck waiting, alone, for the Ice Queen. He'd wait a bit before he approached her, only letting out a calm soothing vibe through the connection they shared as a pack.

Coincidentally, if he had in fact marked Jazz while she was still a child said girl who was currently somewhere in the Ningyo compound would be suddenly hit by an influx of emotions causing her to randomly start tearing up while she was flirting with the Ningyo heir. If not well, then she would do so unaffected by whatever was going on here. For Jasmine however it was like someone had reached into her despair and comforted her, initially she didn't know what to feel but as the other voices chimed in she would begin to respond, come to life so to speak. The things she was bearing alone she could share it with rest of her pack? She didn't know what was happening per say but this was like a breath of fresh air when she was suffocating, and probably the only thing that could bring her out of her emotional turmoil. She would begin to hum along to the song he was singing as her trembling slowed before ceasing abruptly allowing her to lift her head and stare at him.

Her formerly dead eyes filled with life albeit shadowed with pain but she didn't need to explain with him, he understood what she felt so there wasn't any need for words and unlike when he marked her she understood that they had some sort of connection. If she had trusted him before as her best friend, now he was more than that, like family, she was by no means fixed but rather than drowning in agony and self-hatred she had someone, no someones that understood what she was going through. Despite her miserable state she would manage a small smile, it was like a small light shining despite being at the bottom of an ocean but it was evident that she was grateful that he hadn't just abandoned her. She would continue humming along but if he stopped she would wait until he saw her to motion for him to give her a hug. She didn't want to use her voice because she couldn't be bothered to talk whcih is something Rika never understood but him, he didn't need for her to talk to understand what she meant. The only tragic thing was that if he had only come earlier she could of been saved from how she was now, fragile both physically and mentally.

romas began to fill the home, the smell of cooking meat and sauting vegetables being most prominent. His humming now overshadowed by the sounds of the food as they hissed and sizzled in their respective pots and pans. It wouldn't be too long for his bit, preferring his meat to bleed came with that luxury. Though as he could cooked and hummed, he could hear her joining him softly. A slight smile came across his face. It wasn't a huge difference, but it was something. That's all he really wanted, something. He noticed her out of the corner of his eye, and when he turned to face her she motioned for him. Leaving the oven for a bit, he walked over to her and hugged her. He knew he'd been gone, though he never thought this would happen. It had been a long time, and he shouldn't have left her, not without saying something like he did. He could feel their bond had strengthened a been, grew, but not in the way he'd wanted. He'd never let her know that, instead burying and masking those feelings and emotions with apologetic ones. Things that showed how sorry he was for having left her for so long, and not even stopping by to say hi until now. His lips landed on the top of her head, her scent having changed, a small kiss was left behind before he buried his chin in her hair. He was here now, and he'd come by to see her as many times as she wanted if it meant she'd get better. The smell of the cooking steaks brought him back to reality, his was done. Pulling away from her he made his way back towards the oven to finish what he'd started.

The slight change hadn't escaped Konrad. Jasmine's subtle, yet much needed, shift in the right direction was appreciated. A yawn would escape his maw, followed by a loud snap as his fangs slammed together. He was happy for it, and honestly found sleep to come a bit easier after having felt that. His eyes, already heavy, closed as he curled up in a ball on some random piece of furniture. A couch maybe, he didn't care what it was. Next time he'd go with Rainer to check on the little blacksmith, maybe she'd be enjoy his company too.

Jasmine would hug him back, hugs could convey a lot of things especially when one actually could feel the emotions of the other party involved. It was a much needed embrace, she had hugged Rika before but it wasn't like this. So she would bask in the feeling of comfort before letting him to and finish cooking her tummy rumbling as the aroma of the meat had roused her appetite. He was right, her scent had changed, something about how animals could smell fear, could they smell sadness? If not that then the scent of metal and wood shavings from the constant working in the forget. But now at least while the sadness hadn't diminished it wasn't at the forefront of her mind, now it was just in the background waiting, watching. Just like she was at least until he finished cooking and brought the food over to her.