Schizophrenic Ramblings [Training]

“Things would be better if you were dead, wouldn’t it?” A feminine voice said as he sat in front of the pond that was near his home. It had been a few months since his father had kicked him out of his house and he was lucky enough that his sister was able to find a home for him using her salary. Though she had insisted that she stayed with her and her boyfriend, he knew that with his current disposition it would be best to stay away from her and her lover. He understood why she was worried about him, after all, he had constantly tried to commit suicide in the past and unlike everyone else how was worried that the Gobi would escape if he managed to pull off the deed, she was genuinely worried about his personal wellbeing which was nice for a change. Claire had been the only one who had actually given a damn about him since that ill-fated day. Not even his own mother cared for him as much as his sister did, in fact he had tried reaching out to his mother ever since she had left them to go live her new life with her lover but his letters would go unanswered for a number of months before getting a response stating that he should stop trying to reach out to her as she no longer gave a shit about them and was happy with her new family. If that wasn’t bad enough his own father had began hitting him, calling him all sorts of names just because he was a failure of a man and it made his hatred for his own son even more ironic when he learned from his sister that he was the one who offered him up to become the vessel of this.. demon. Though he didn’t mind the beatings and the name calling, partially because he was of firm believe he deserved it all anyways, his sister decided to intervene and take him outside the house. Now he was here, alone to his thoughts and no one to really talk to even though this was his choice and he was a poor candidate to be around anyway. Luckily for Claire, and everyone else he might add, he wasn’t even suicidal anymore. Sure he was still experiencing everything else that came with his constant depression but now it now instead of sleepless nights and days where he tried to end his own life, he was just content with it all. He was content knowing that besides Claire no one could ever truly love him, he was content that he was a monster and people would fear him and stay as far away as possible and even if people were to get close to him it would just to be to use him because of the power he had inside. It was such a strange thing to come to terms with at such a young age but if he needed to survive, he needed to be realistic and he also needed to master the power. “Master my power? Funny, that will never happen. You’re weak.” The voice said in his head mockingly with a chuckle. “Yeah I know I’m weak, right now atleast. I’ll find my way with or without you and you’ll be all along for the ride.” He said defiantly before getting up from out of bed for the first time in a few days. Letting out a an deep sigh he would muster the energy to drag himself into the shower, grab some breakfast and headed out of the little shack he called home and headed to his new destination. The Kukinorite Clan grounds.

He had only been there a few times but he hated being around the Kukinorite clan members who frequented the grounds as they were all just snobbish cunts. It didn’t help that he was universally despised by everyone in the village thanks to be the Gobi Jinchūriki so it just made them even more unbearable, which he never thought was possible. Still he wasn’t here to make friends, he was there to collect his skates and have some knowledge on the clan fighting style and the road he got from being apart of the clan. He would make his way up to the area where he was told to go meet someone, he wasn’t surprised that no one was going to be there as people did tend to avoid him completely but they were atleast kind enough to leave what he had come for, the skates and a few scrolls. Picking them up, he would immediately do a 180 and leave the compound and go back home as he could feel the stares and hear the whispers that everyone was giving him. He couldn’t stand the cunts and he wanted to leave as quickly as possible. Having gotten home, Maximillian would place the scrolls and his skates on the table before taking a seat himself. “Hm. What are those?” The voice in his head asked seemingly curious about what he had placed down on the table. “Those are some clan stuff I had to pick up and learn. I don’t really want to but one day I’m going need to be able to defend myself against the people who want me dead just because I have you inside me, so it’s best I learn some means of fighting.” He said before lazily kicking the table so that the scrolls would fall and roll over to his feet so he could pick them up without getting up. “Ha, you think some lame human techniques are better than the power you have inside you? Quit wasting your time.” The demon said mockingly. “Right but the power you have comes at a cost, I’m not expecting any help or deals from you because all you want is for me to let you out.” He said dismissing her words. He understood why she would want to be out as he couldn’t imagine what it was like for her to be sealed inside someone just because the adults wanted a powerful weapon but he was a victim here as well. After all not only was he shunned by most people having being claimed to be responsible for the destruction of the village, he also lost his family so they both were suffering and they both were in this for the long haul whether they liked it or not. “I mean, look at it logically. You don’t want to be living this meaningless life anymore and releasing me would make both of us happy wouldn’t it?” Letting out a sigh, he saw that coming and decided it would be best to just get some sleep in the time being.

WC: 1133

Training:

Approved

It had been a different few days for Maximillian. Normally he had spent all his time in his room sulking, crying or watching everyone from below while he sat on top of the roof of his dorm. Now his time was actually spent in class, training and reading in the library. To the people who were looking at him from the outside it was strange how his entire demeanor towards the academy had changed almost overnight  but, there was a valid reason as to his sudden shift in attitude. What they wouldn’t know was that he was working towards the goal of being accepted by the toads. A few months ago he had come across the toad princess and had saved her life, in doing so he was able to gain the respect of the toad elders and now all he had to do was make it to Genin and the contract was as good as his.

Naturally making it to Genin would be easy enough considering most of those he knew and saw around the campus were easy pickings once he had learned more about himself and the beast that was inside. The only real threat he had seen thus far would be Mika since she trained on a daily basis and was seemingly one of the strongest inside the academy. One could argue that the other four demon children could stand in his way but in truth he hadn’t seen the raccoon kid recently. The cat girl seemed as dangerous as a thrown up hair ball, the turtle boy was a bit of a mystery and the monkey was just loud and obnoxious. Theoretically they posed a threat to him getting to Genin but he didn’t think they had it in them at this point so it should be easy enough to brush them aside. The real problem, however, would come when it was time for the Chunin exams but by the time they finally end up taking things seriously, he would already be too far ahead with his summonings and also that other power.

It was a glorious feeling. It was the first time he had felt something else that wasn’t linked to pain, sorrow, or depression. The first time he had ever felt accepted, wanted, or loved was the first time he understood that he truly had some sort of demonic power hidden away in him. Sure there was that voice in the back of his head but he never truly understood what it was until that time with the toads and now he truly understood why he was feared and what that being actually was. It was also the first time he had seen it for himself, a horse-like monster trapped inside him. “Monster? That’s a mean thing to say human.” A voice echoed throughout his psyche as he was immediately pulled into him into the space that she occupied in his mind.

“I mean, you are a monster aren’t you? You’re a massive horse-goat thing and the reason for my pain and suffering. If it wasn’t for you I’d at least be normal. Instead, all I’m filled with are depressing and intrusive thoughts.” She rebutted a bit annoyed that she had interrupted him the moment he was about to start training again. “ That is a fair assessment I suppose. However, wouldn’t it be accurate to say that the greed of your fellow humans is the reason why you’re in the position you’re in now? They wanted to enslave me and use my power for their own and sealed me inside you so how exactly is that my fault?” The beast stated rather politely as it patiently waited for his response. Truth as he didn’t have a response. Though he did consider himself well-spoken for someone his age, he honestly didn’t understand the politics between the villages and the reason as to why they sort out to enslave all the monsters. “You know what would be beneficial to both of us however?  Letting me out of-“ Before she could even finish that sentence he would raise is hand to stop her mid-sentence. “Letting you out would be beneficial to you not me. Who knows what would happen to me if I let you out. For all I know I’ll probably die.” He didn’t know if that was true or not but quite frankly he didn’t want to find out as he wasn’t that versed in Fuinjutsu as yet. “I have a better idea, lend me your power.  That’s the only thing that would be beneficial to the both of us. Me becoming a strong enough shinobi would be benefiting to both of us. Would you rather be stuck with someone who is weak and constantly under surveillance or someone one who is strong enough to somehow find a way to grant you what you want in the future?” Truth be told he highly doubted there was a way but she had no real choice but to what choice did she really have but to cooperate? “Hm, I don’t think you’ll be able to keep your promise on that but I’ll lend you my power for now. I’ll warn you though, just because I’m lending you doesn’t mean you’ll be able to control it and believe me when I say this. The day you lose control will be the day I look to escape and when I do, I’ll make sure to get my revenge.”

Opening his eyes, he would found that he was no longer inside the mindscape and was back in the training field. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit shaken up by the ominous words of the beast. Though he had successfully negotiated the use of her powers the lingering thought of him losing his mind to was a bit concerning. “But that’s risk I have to take.” He muttered to himself, before standing up from the bench and walking into the training grounds. He had been slacking off a lot so needed to work harder than everyone else right now.

Trained:

Approved