Trouble Maker (pt.1) : How Big Is Your Asshole?

Living room:

Stories are made from the random events in our daily lives. Though this is the case not all stories are worthy of sharing with friends, families and peers alike.  But there's something about today that feels like the start of a great story.  It started off as a rainy morning in Elias' dark living room. He was there reading an erotic comic book gifted to him by one of his bad influences in his life known as "a friend". Normally he wouldn't be caught dead with comic books of this nature with his mom constantly roaming the house. His father doesn't seem to care too much because he feels as if Eli has it rough enough with his mothers strict parenting. So today his mother was out and his father was cooking up some breakfast in the kitchen. This gave him the time alone that he needed to go through the comic and catch a little feeling in the pants.

Elias took this as a sign that he definitely needs to get himself out of the house. Hopefully meet a special type of cutie that he can build a good relationship with. Maybe she'll have blonde hair or dark skin and ebony curves. Either way he wasn't going to find her here in his living room, so before his dad can even finish making breakfast he'd grab a biscuit and head out.  On his way out, he'd put the biscuit in his mouth and grab his white coat with both the Kaironokuma and Rikigaku clan symbols etched on the back. " Aye pops imma head down to da park. He's father would then look towards Eli and respond,"Ay you sure kiddo? I'm almost done with breakfast and i was hoping you and i cou.."" I ain't really hungry, pops but  imma be back lata on tonight." Eli would then be out the door before his father could even say good bye.

Now there was the matter of setting up a situation for him to find a honey. So he'd send little hamsters with notes attached to them to both Kotone and Jinnouchi. He wasn't about to go out there with no wing man/girl to back him up.  Eli made his way to the park where he'd wait for either Jinnouchi or Kotone to arrive. As he waits he'd scan the park for any cute girls to talk to.

Elias's idea was dumb. That was all that she thought after reading his little note. Of course it didn't mean she wasn't going to say no. So she finished up her training with her kenjutsu mentor and made her way over to meet her friend. She was still dressed in 'battle garb', only as her teacher was pushy on her always wearing it for swordsmanship practice. And finding her team mate was easy, although perhaps it might have been easier with Jin were there. The guy was huge. She also felt she knew what her friend was like, so she made a snack run along the way to meet him. So when she joined him, she dropped hard in to the seat besides him, and dropped a bar of chocolate in to his lap too, whilst taking a bite of herself. "So how's the view? Any cuties?" She also silently approved of his choice of meet up point, even if it wasn't for quite so innocent reasons. This park was a lovely one she liked to frequent with her mother when she was younger, when the two were less busy.

Jin was still trying to study how he was going to make the balloon strategy work. In all honesty, Jin was having a few problems in how he was going to figure it out, but he still believed that he knew enough for him to work through the trouble. However, it was taking quite a long time and it was starting to show the impatience. Maybe a change of pace was important? Going on over to meet with his other team members for some time off might be the break that he needed. Jinnouchi wanted to know a little bit more about the area and maybe get used to how life in this village was. Knowing about the parks would be a decent start.

After arriving, Jin basically scanned the area in order to look for them, seeing Kotone first but following her to be led to Eli. After that, Jin let out a greeting to both of them.

"Hey Eli, Kotone. Thanks for inviting me, I was basically stuck in the house doing nothing. "

Eli waited a bit until finally Kotone showed up with a chocolate bar for him to eat. He’d then smile from ear to ear when Kotone dropped the candy in his lap. Almost like he’s been waiting for too long for it , he’d open it immediately and suck on the chocolate bar while cozying up to Kotone on the park bench.hed pull his legs into his jacket and keep scouting around stopping only to address Kotone’s question. ”eya! Dey lookin right today buuut i dunno...Dey lookin kinda young tho.” he’d pan over to the jungle gym and sandbox where a bunch of 6 year olds ran and played while their parents looked on. ”you see anythin you like, Koto?”

It wasn’t long after that jinnouchi appeared. As usual he was super polite which only lead to Eli thinking that he just might be too old for this mission. But then again he just might have the right amount of experience that Eli needs. “ o’ course I’d invite you, B. You part of da gang now dat means ya got to partake in dis gang shit Koto and I be hittin. Ay Jin u good wit dis stuff right,B? I was thinking you’d be like my main man on dis . You spit yo game to da moms while I go try and get wit the daughters, ya?”[/color]

rules:

Kotone just rolled her eyes at his 'young' comment, "Well what do you expect. This time of day that's what you'll find for the most part," She answered him back between big bites from her bar. "And besides, I'm a Zakiyoshi, we're kinda hard wired not to think of that stuff. It's like instinct you know." Of course she had never been exactly right on that front, or at least from what she was told. After all, a girl could admire another's good looks without 'love' being involved, right? All those stories of love at first sight being so true within the clan, it was... silly. Kotone just found the notion silly. With her back pressed against Eli's side, she smiled wide as Jin had in fact joined them. And whilst it meant that she would have to make a stop on the way home, she fished a third bar from her bag and held it out to him. "He says gang, I say family." she added to the comment, letting Jin take the bar or not, and looking back across the field. "Oh, him. He's cute," She pointed specifically at one guy across the lot with a toddler, so he wasn't terribly far off their own age, a dad at a young age. Reasonbly tall, real slim, shallow rimmed glasses, little bit of stubble and black slicked back hair. A little whine followed though, a really cute blonde had joined him and the two shared a kiss before leading their toddler from the park. "Well... taken or not... he was still cute,"

Eli sighed at the girl leaving the park with her parents. Kotone may not have noticed but while this whole thing with the parents was happening, she made eye contact with Eli. He smiled and wiggled his fingers at her. She then smiled back and gave him the middle finger. He then got sad and made one more attempt by gesturing to his chocolate bar then offering it to her. Her eyes lit up and she would nod enthusiastically causing Eli to stand up and start moving towards her. But before he could even take another step her face expression changed and she gave him the middle finger again. As people in the streets would say, she just "dicked" his ass. He'd sit back down before Kotone would notice what had happen there. " It's no matter Koto, she wasn't all dat. Her daddy looked like a tool anyway. N like he too old for you Koto, you need you a real Matara."

Eli kept scouting while saving the rest of his chocolate bar in the pockets of his sweater. He'd then lightly smack Kotone's side with the back of his hand to get her attention before pointing at some 9yr old by the slide. Much like Eli the kid was wearing a hoodie in the heat. " Yo dats da one for you , Koto. Kid is fly as f&^k! Let's go introduce ya. Whatchu think Jin? What should, Koto say?" Elias didnt really get a look at the boy's face and would know if a male was handsome or not, but it was the kid's shoes that caught his attention. Everytime the kid would lift his hand to talk to someone at the top of the swing his hoodie would raise just enough for Eli to see dem Air Strike Ones on his feet. If he had to sketch the boy out he'd look something like this:

Spoiler:

*Matara: Pronounced: Mah^ Tah ^(Rolls the "R" like in spanish) "rah" ; Definition: a derogatory word that originates from old Mirstone after the historical,"Crisis in Mirstone City" . It is used to describe darker skinned individuals . It is now commonly used by darker skinned individuals as a sign of mutual respect to one another or as the word was intended to be used as when in negative context.

Synonyms: Scrumbag, Trash, Dirt Face, Fuck Nigga, Asshole, Dirt bag, Jerk, Slave, Peasant

Kotone rolled her eyes and shook her head at Eli as it felt he was just teasing her all the more. She also very much missed the girl giving Eli the middle finger, though she would have loved to have seen it. It would have been hilarious to see him getting flipped off. She was too busy looking off and to Jin, enjoying her nibblings of chocolate, when Eli was bugging her again with the back of his hand tapping to her cheek to get her attention. "Ugh, what now Eli," She sighed, "I thought I was just here to hang out and maybe be your wing gi- uh... wait what?" She trailed off, "Oh c'mon that's... you're projecting,"

Jin had a bit to think about when he remembered the letter once more, something about picking up girls. But he didn't appreciate the chocolate or something of a sweet tooth that he had for candy in a good minute. However, Jin decided to hold off on eating the candy bar just yet, thanking Kotone instead for giving him one. "Thanks, Kotone, this might come in handy. " Pocketing the candy, Jin followed along with a smile when the other two conducted their shenanigans. It might be a little unbelievable, but Jin was around their age. It was just that he seemed rather older than most people would think.

Looking at Eli conducting his game, Jin would shake his head a little and pat Eli on the back. "It'll be fine, there are plenty of other girls around. Besides, let's look at it this way, when you are all grown and doing big things, that's when they always come around. You reject them then when they know they definitely missed the mark with you. "

Looking at the young boy that was playing and at Kotone, Jin would give a sheepish grin. "Now that's a kid that definitely looks like he likes candy, maybe you should offer him one as an ice breaker?"

Eli chuckles at Jinnouchi's comment about Kotone using candy as an Ice Breaker. Elias looked over at the kid and noticed that he was gradually getting bored which meant that Kotone's chances were slimming. Soon the kid will be soo bored that he'd ask his parents to take him home. Which meant that the chances of Eli's getting those shoes from the kid was dimming as well. He could not let something that basic happen to him, after all he was a certified G. " C'mon Kotone , I aint projecting as you said. I know I'm not because i don't even know what that means. I'm just saying, dude's fresha den a bitch! We should atleast go up n say hi or some shit. C'mon lez go ya'll". Eli grabs Kotone's hand gently and starts to pull her along. He'd gesture for Jin to follow them as well as they try to walk up on the kid.

"Ah, w-wait, what?" Kotone was still lost as to what was going on before she was being pulled along by Elias towards the boy he was seemingly trying to set her up with. She had no idea what any other sort of motivation he could have had after all. "Geez, you're so embarassing," She then glanced back to Jin, "You're not help either," But she figured there was no other choice. She was saying hi to this kid whatever she thought. But ok, he did look kind of mature. She didn't even know how it would look as they approached, Eli pulled a very embarassed Kotone behind him until they were at the kid, and her face was a deep red. "H-H-Hello. Erm... I'm Kotone... erm... ch-chocolate?" She then just thrust her hands out holding the bar. Regular lady Casanova.

Jin followed behind as he folded his hand s and watched, kind of wondering what kind of person Kotone was when it came to greeting people. He could say for sure that the girl was thorough, sending Jin a letter in order for them to meet up in spite of the fact that it would have been their first meeting overall. However, Jin didn't want to see her flounder, so he did what any other decent wingman should, try to raise the stakes and make it seem a lot better than it is.

"I mean, you won't believe it, she actually won those rare golden Jutsweets chocolate bars, and the golden ones have the jutsu symbols on it. This one has the ram on it with the caramel filling, she really wanted to share it with you."

PAtting Kotone on the back, Jin hoped that she could take care of the rest.

Eli stopped in front of the kid and watched as an embarrassed Kotone spit her game. Just like they had planned, Kotone offered him chocolate but what he didnt expect was for Jin to pour some of his special sauce on her introduction. Like damn he never figured Jin had soo much game running through his body. It was enough to make a brutha wonder what his last name is, because that clan got that million dollar mouth piece. Eli would show his approval of what Jin was doing with a solid proud expression followed by some slow nods of approval and a thumbs up. " Ya son, i kno u aint no busta cuz  u standin here in a park lookin fresha den a mutha fucka. Aye holla at me tho, dis my home gurl Kotone and she not from 'round here." " oh word? where she from?" " Well peep dis lil white boi, she visitin me here frum da village hidden in da saaaauuccceee." " oh for real? she be saucing like that, hey yo homie hold my jacket." Kid would then take off his hoodie and striped shirt and hand it to Eli to reveal his small child like chest and one pack abs to Kotone. " Damn shorty i like hearing yo naaaammme. What you trying to do?" He starts to move in a little closer to Kotone, but Eli would place a firm hand on his chest, " Whoaa hold da fuck up playa... u still wearin dem shows bruh? c'mon man u must be rich o sumthin. Like even so respect dem shoes bruh, dem some  Air Strike Ones bruh, all clean n shit. U just gunna mess dem up eating chocolate wit yo hands n shit." " oh gee wiz you're right broham, my Bad" He'd slip his shoes off and blow the sand off of them. He'd then hand them over to Eli who would tell him one more thing. "N yo watch yo fuckin mouth bruh, she like a priestess or some shit, so some fuckin respect. " " Alriight, but watch who you're freaking talking to man!" Eli would throw his hands up, as a sign of surrender." Aye no disrespect fam, just no cursin is all." Strangely it seems that no one has noticed that all the kids stuff has gone missing. But he'd continue on with Kotone. " So yea babe, what're you trying to do like that?  Oh my name is Billy, wanna feel my abs?" Eli starts to gesture to Jin to start heading out, so they can break for it.

Spoiler:

Kotone just groaned as it seemed Eli found someone on his own wave length to walk with. But it was only as he was telling the boy to take off his shoes too that she started to realise he might just have something else going on. But something about the boy she had been offering chocolate too... he was losing her interest. Sure she thought he was cute, at first any way, but did he really have to be taking his clothes off like that? It was a bit of a put off. Still, she appreciated how both of the boys behind her had her back in pushing her. "What... what does 'tryna do' mean?" She asked, looking both to this boy, Billy, and Eli who would probably know what he meant too. "But erm... n-no I'm ok not touching your abs. I can see them," She was still smiling, even if she was still quite nervous being put in to this posiiton. "And my friend is right, i'm a Priestess, it would be inappropriate," She was talking a little more 'proper' too. She didn't really want to stay and she noticed her friends retreating back a little more than maybe they should. She didn't know what but she felt there was something going on there. Especially because why on earth would you mess up shoes by eating... ok this boy was an idiot. Any resemblance to a young crouch was absolutely gone by that point.

She took a glance back to Eli, and winked. She was out of the loop, but she still got the message. "So just... don't tell, ok?" She shifted to a slightly demure act, stepping forwards like she was hesitating, then put her hand to his chest. She'd seen it plenty to immitate the squeak, before turning like she was terribly shy and embarrassed, and grabbed her team mate's hands and began dragging them away, still making the squealing noise until they were gone from the boy's vicinity. "Ugh! You two are great wingmen but please no more dumb boys," She let go of them so they could make their get away easier.

As Jin watched the scene unfold with how Eli was handling the situation, he would look in awe as the braided marauder handled himself accordingly like some kind of big brother or something. As a matter of fact, it made him wonder how long he knew kotone for with them being so familiar and friendly with each other. But it was around that time that Jin caught his eye onto something else, the fact that everything that was being given to Eli ended up disappearing in Eli's little-pocketed dimension.

"How does he do it? Wish I had one....."

Something like that would have been great for the balloons, but Jin wasn't too jealous at his friend.

"Wait..."

Is Eli Robbing the poor kid?

"Wait... "

Was Jin being dragged away? He immediately assessed the situation and ran with the others until it was safe enough to speak to them.

"Is that how we do things here in Nazogakure? We hustle people?"

Also, looking to Kotone, Jin just sighed as he patted her head twice.

"Trying to do something is a bit ...well.... not nice... I'm even surprised anyone knows about that at all. I was told the stork story when I was younger, I couldn't believe it myself but summons does exist. Not to be naive, but babies could come from there. But that's besides the point Kotone. If anyone  makes you feel uncomfortable, it's ok to decline their company and walk away."

After that, Jin turned over to Eli.

"Dude, his parents are going to flip. I don't really like the stereotypical  "The black kid at the park did it" scenario, but sticking around kind of makes it seem like this is EXACTLY what's going to happen. Those were the Air Bijuus man....you took his Air Bijuus."

Eli started laughing his ass off as the three made there way with the boys gear. It seems that Kotone found a very smooth way of escaping meanwhile Jin gives them a lecture about what we do in Nazogakure and not liking the stereotype. " Oh word? Ha.ha at least someone knows I'm black. Most people can't figure out what i am really. And fuck dat kid , Jin! He a bitch matara anyway, aint that right, koto?  Besides deez some fuck'n Air Bijuus. I thought dey were just AS1's but if a matara let someone cop deez from him, he don't deserve it, fam." As the three  got a safe distance away, Eli slowed down and looked at the two with a huge smile on his face. He'd re-materialize the kid's hoodie and hand it to Kotone." Dis yours now. Put it on." the temperature outside is around 85 degrees yet Eli is wearing a hoodie and handing Kotone one to wear. " Dun worreh Jin, imma cop you sumthin too, just lemme find me a honey first. " " Heyyyyyyy!!!! YOU FREAKIN DREAD HEADED PIECE OF CACA! YOU GET BACK HERE WITH MY SHIIIT!" From a distance they see little Billy running up on them with his little legs. Normally anyone would run, but Eli isn't afraid of no little Billy so he'd stay where he's at until he caught up. He'd struggle to catch his breath while also taking some time to pull little rocks from his socks that jabbed into his feet. Blood spots can be seen from where the rocks are.   "Ouchie..ouuuch damn it man.*breathing heavy* Give me back my stuff!" " Fuck you mean, man? I gave you back yo stuff." " No you didnt bro, c'mon please just give me back my shoes atleast my dad's gunna kill me. They're so expens.." " Bruh! I already told you, I aint got yo sh.." " STOP FUCKIN WIT ME DAWG! YOU WANT DA PROBLEMS WIT ME?"  Billy has come undone. " Da problems? da fuck this is Lord of The King's Movie? Fuck outta here man." Billy takes off his sock and puts it in his own mouth growling wildly at Eli. "GAAAHHH UHHH RAAAWWWWRRRRRR!" Eli starts to get a little worried and looks at both Jin and Kotone.  " Aye bro calm down, man. I think you left it by the slides. Listen to me man we don't want no problems. You should go che..." Billy's voice gets scary deep, " FUCK NAH YOU AINT WANT NO PROBLEMS!!!! You think you can just play me? ME?! I tried to give you a chance, but you done fucked UP! BOTH OF YALL" He now believes that Jinnouchi is in on it. " Im going to whoop yall asses then take your bitch." Eli starts to get upset. " Fuck you, Billy! Nobody calls Kotone a bitch! Now imma fuck u up!" Billy throws his fist up," Well then bring it on asshole!" Eli begins to walk forward expecting Jin to hold him back, " Asshole? man u da one being an asshole, asshole!""Well you Gaia Damn Right I'm an Asshole! Im a Big Asshole, You Asshole!" Eli looks at little Billy like he's stupid, "" U aint no big asshole u little shit!" Eli then points at Jin, " Now he's a big asshole, u asshole! Look at da size of the man! He got more abs den u got teeth, bitch. "  Billy starts to get riled up further. " What you think he's something? what's he like 36? Fuck him! My guy is much bigger than your big asshole over there." Eli responds with a sneeze, "Bullshit!"

" No im not fucking kidding man, you better give me back my shit or I'm going to go get him. " Eli would then shrug, "Well go get em den! And my dude's not 36, u Asshole. He's 26, 30 the latest. And me and my friends we gang we really bout dat life! I dun't see u with shit as friends so.. " Alright fine, I'm going to get him." " U really going to get him?" " Ya im going to go get him." " U going to get him?" " Fucks wrong with you? you deaf now? YOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Billy starts to shout out  off the top of his lungs at no one. This for sure made him look like he lost his mind. " No i aint deaf, just he dun exist" " Course he exist you shit head. YOOOOOOOOOOOO!" " Whatchu doing man? Stop u drawing attention." " YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" " Aight bet, i believe yo crazy ass, he exists. But dude aint bigger den Jinnouchi" " I dont know about a Jinnouchi, but he's definitely bigger than that, asshole." Billy points at Jinnouchi " Bigger than this one right here? well den shit, how big is your asshole?" " YOOOOOOOOO! "YOOOOOOOOOO!" A deep voice can be heard from miles away, but no one is in sight. This voice is even deeper than the one Billy put on earlier when he was mad. There's just no way billy's squeaky voice could produce such a deep but distant sound. " Fuck was that?" " You wanted to know how big my asshole is didn't you? " Billy starts to laugh, "Oh don't you run now.YOOOOOOOO!"YOOOOOOOOOO!" Eli laughs and sits on the floor, suddenly he'd barefoot and now putting on Billy's Air Bijuu's onto his feet. " Ur dude sounds hella far, look bruh me and my crew we funna bounce... ugh damn deez shoes kinda tight" Billy spots his shoes, and his eyes starts to bug out in rage. " YOOOOOOOOOO!""YOOOOOOO!" "YO ! YO! "YO!YO!" " YO!YO! "YO!YO!" " YOOOOO! "YOOOOOO!" "YOOOOOO!" "YOOOOOO! Eli would then stand onto his feet and signal for his crew to leave with him, but out of no where a small figure can be seen in the sun. It was descending fast and towards the group. Eli had no clue, maybe Jinnouchi would have noticed and pulled Eli out the way of a massive figure that would come crashing down between Billy and team 3.

Enter: Constantine

Spoiler:

Regardless if Jin would pull him out of the way in time once the massive figure landed, team 3 would be lifted off the ground then drop right back down. It was then that Eli noticed the shoes on the massive creature's feet. " *gasps* Air Bijuus" "Hey Billy what's up? I heard your call man are you ok?" Billy is all red faced and ready to escalate the situation. " No Constant, these two hoes got me really fucked up! Dude took my shoes!" " The Air Bijuus? NOOOOO Fuck that man I hate that shit! I hate bullies man. Im going to crush them boys!" Constantine starts to walk up towards team 3 and so Eli would raise his hand towards him to signal for him to stop and hold off. " Yo hol'up bruh. Dats not fair bro, u like a dad n shit, u got to be like old as fuck." Constantine looks confused, " umm nah bro, Im only eleven." Billy and Constantine would say his age at the same time, confirming its validity. " Ya dude, just look at my face im a kid, but you're dead. Constantine starts to make a move towards them again. " Wait hol'up! Before U crush ma man Jinnouchi you gotta give us our equal ones bruh?" "What?" " Equal ones! You know one on one. Clearly Jin put us up to this so you verses Jinnouchi, a shoes for shoes battle." "And yo bitch!" " Watch yo mouth bruh, ok and Kotone too but u aint bout to beat ma mans, freak." Constantine would laugh then respond sarcastically, " Awww that hurts soo much, i don't like being called a glorious freak at all. Alright lets get it. Come here little bitch." Constantine calls Jinnouchi on over to the side and puts his hands up.

Spoiler:

Kotone just shrugged at Jin's question, this was definitely a first for her and... it was actually quite a thrill to do something 'bad'. She wouldn't make it a habit, but just once in a while it could be fun, right? But her eyes went wide as Jin explained what it meant. She didn't see herself as being exactly 'innocent', but it did take being told to understand. "Eww! That's gross," She sped up her pace just a little, but stopped with Eli after he did on hearing the voice of the boy. She didn't exactly want to stay, she wanted to keep running, and with a little tug of Eli she checked if he was staying or not. But with him standing his ground, she decided what was best, and that was to stay with him.

"Why does he keep yelling 'yo'?" She whispered to Jin, letting Eli take the lead with dealing with the boy. She had to keep herself looking at his feet, because it did make her feel bad for taking his shoes. But that certainly didn't last long. She was visibly taken back twice over in just a second. First was that he called her a 'bitch', when arguably she hadn't done anything at all to deserve that. But then he also said about... taking her? She was gonna kick his ass.

Before she could say anything though the new big guy appeared on the scene. "What in Kikuri's name are they feeding that guy?" She was a little stunned just looking at him. Then Billy called her a bitch again. It set in exactly what they seemed to think, beginning to hum to herself behind the boys, and looking between her two team mates she could see why that might be. Jin was big for his age, physically imposing. Eli was lots of bark, and hidden bite. But Kotone was still demure and sweet looking, not the strong ninja the other two knew her to be. She started humming first just to disguise what she was doing, but the two besides her would easily know, especially as her lips parted and the hum began more of a low song.

Spoiler: