Whispers upon an Anvil

"How did I ever truly deal with wearing this clothing before? I've been in armour and combat clothing for so long now..." Asura murmured to herself as she looked into the mirror of her bathroom. As a Huntarian Legionis now she had a fair amount of leeway in regards to where she could stay, not to mention she was the Clan Head of the Mishura so a house to herself in the clan compound was definitely something she appreciated. What she didn't appreciate was actually trying to be social again, it was extremely difficult. She had been on her own apart from the clan for so long now that trying to relax, trying to believe that there wasn't someone wanting to kill her around every corner was alien to her. She took a deep breath through her nose and looked into her own darkened purple eyes in the mirror. "What a strange time this has turned out to be." She smiled ever so slightly and then stood up, reaching over to grab her blindfold and pull it on. The purple silk was emblazoned with the symbol of the Mishura in black so that it sat across the bridge of her nose and the bottom of her forehead.

She reached down and dusted her clothing with her hands, a simple white top with long bell sleeves to cover her hands and a knee-length skirt of red, ruffled. She wrapped a scarf around her neck, that being white and finally pulled on a cream cardigan to keep herself warm. She stepped out, grabbing her package as she done so, and locked her door before setting off at a gentle walk, her shoes silent against the ground. She knew where she was going thankfully so it wasn't too bad but it was a fair walk, not that she minded all that much, the air was crisp and there were soft sounds in the air that sat nicely with the way she was feeling... Although she did feel exposed. Stupid skirts.

So then, after the required walk, Asura found herself at the door to the Blacksmith's shop. She'd heard of Jasmine, bits and pieces of hearsay and other such trivial details. Apparently she was pretty good, in fact she had made the weapons that Asura was currently carrying with her. "Why is it that I find myself more nervous to talk to someone than I do before going into battle?" Asura asked herself with a chuckle and a smirk before pushing the door open and stepping inside. Her movements were silent and she let the door close before she walked in properly, scarf flaring out behind her. "Jasmine, hello? I do not believe we have met, my name is Asura Mishura." She called out into the room. She couldn't see after all and this would help out with her locating of Jasmine if she could hear her talk. Asura's voice was quiet though but it projected, she was used to being heard without having to bother her own hearing in the process... Hopefully Jasmine was actually here.

The room was dark the only lights being that from outside though when Asura entered and stepped in the motion sensitive lights would come on revealing a woman sleeping with her head on her workbench. She was clad in a short yukata it wasn't elaborate yet it was obvious it was made from very good materials as despite being clearly well used it still kept a shine to it. At Asura's voice the woman would wake up slightly startled her eyes blearily blinking multiple times as they adjusted to the light. She had been working and fell asleep yet again, she was hungry but Flame wasn't around having probably wandered off after she was done forging. She would yawn while wiping her eyes mentally thinking about how she would get her pet to go get her food while she took a shower but then she remembered that she had woken up because of someone's voice.

"Becca?!" Jasmine thought looking around wildly but then she would glance upon the person and the gloom would once again settle in her eyes. It wasn't Rebecca, of course it wasn't the only thing worse than the throbbing ache was the fact that she kept setting herself up to thinking she had finally come back and just getting disappointed yet again. It was a customer though she only had to think for a bit before she recognized the name, Asura Mishura one of the Blades, and according to a drunken Rika the woman who stole her boyfriend away. "He- *cough* "Ahem" *throat clearing* Hello. I don't think we have welcome to my shop can I help you with something?" Jasmine said her voice dead, lifeless none of the emotion which a normal person possessed just the weariness of a person who had lost everything. She wasn't used to talking to people anymore, nor could she even fake happiness it had been too long since she was actually happy.  She honestly didn't know when she last spoke to someone, her talks with Rika were very one-sided mainly her nodding while her friend drank and ranted, perhaps that was why her friend didn't visit often anymore.

She would look over the woman, yes she was fairly attractive and could see why Cyrus who she had met and talked to would be interested in her over Rika, her eyes would figure out what she was good in and things like that and judging by the weaponry on her she had a certain skill set. Archery. Was there a problem with the weapons she made for the Shogunate, unlikely they were good sellers so it couldn't be that, maybe it was a personal request, another commission to keep her active keep her from thinking too much. She hated interacting with people now though, they always asked questions wondering why she looked the way she did, her tattoos her pale appearance but honestly the only good thing about this particular meeting was the fact that the customer seemed to be blind. "At least this way she won't stare."

Asura of course was entirely unaware of the light situation in the room but what she did notice quickly was the sound of soft breathing coming from nearby, something she knew generally mapped to breathing. It didn't take too long before that stopped though and the woman woke up. A soft sigh left the Mishura's lips at what the woman was saying though, obviously there were some... Sad things going on in her life, the way she spoke certainly hinted towards that. Perhaps she had been spurned by a lover or it was someone that she could never have in the first place, either way it was not really something for Asura to pry into, it wouldn't be very fair and it would likely end with the woman getting rather annoyed at her and thus not fulfilling Asura's request... Which would be bothersome.

"I apologise for waking you, Jasmine. I didn't realise that you would be sleeping at this time, it is difficult for me to judge the light levels in a location due to my blindfold." She whispered in return, bowing her head in apology before reaching up and brushing her hair over her shoulder. "I shall not pry but I will tell you this. Giving up is never the solution, to let your emotions die is to let you yourself die, no matter the situation. Even if hatred and anger are the only things you can feel, feel them, breathe them, be them. It is better than being empty." She stared directly at Jasmine as she said that, her eyes locking on almost eerily considering the fact she appeared to be blind. "I shall say no more on that matter unless you'd rather I did but I promise you that emotions make us who we are, for better or worse." She then walked over to the nearest workbench, using gentle motions of her hand and displacement aura to touch the world around her and find out where it was, before putting her package down.

She opened it up to reveal the pair of Arcus within. "I find myself with a dilemma. As much as I like the bows that you have made for the Shogunate I find them feeling... Off. I believe it is a change in myself that I am less comfortable using small bows now. The design of them is wonderful and they work extremely well but I need something larger, better range and a much higher draw strength. I was wondering if you would be able to take the pair of these and create a Greatbow for myself. I'd need one about six feet tall and with as high a draw strength as you can make it, for reasons I am sure my surname will let you know, I possess fairly incredible physical strength so you needn't worry about me being unable to actually draw it. Would such a thing be possible?" She turned back to the room and placed her hands almost demurely before her, clasping them just in front of the base of her stomach.

Jasmine would listen to her words and take it into consideration, briefly that is though she was contrasting the bad things she had heard from Rika with the woman who was before her. She hadn't ever met Asura though she wasn't the type to judge someone before meeting them and realized that her friends dislike of the woman was due to matters of the heart. Still she recognized the words for what they were, she was trying to be nice and offer advice it was something she had heard before don't give up, feel something, live. But it didn't change much, she was unhappy not because she had given up hope but because she couldn't fully give up, and so she was trapped in this ever aching form unable to get better or die. This stupid annoying hope that her love would come back to her kept her going clinging to life endlessly working on things like some sort of autonomous puppet. Sure it might appear to be sentient and capable of acting on it's own but it was always going to be a puppet never truly alive just a mockery of it.

Jasmine would glance at the bows two of her Arcus, she hadn't made these personally well no, one of them she did figures that one of the Blades would have one of her originals, the other was a very well made imitation those blacksmiths that she had shown how to make things were doing well. She already was going through designs and would look up at Asura when she finished speaking. "I will take your words into consideration, thank you. A Greatbow, I see doable. Would you prefer a Compound or a Recurve Bow in terms of structure? Compound would be essentially the same make as the Arcus, Recurve are better for sniping not rapid fire, I made the Arcus Compound due to the ease of use in terms of Recurve, as the latter is a more specialized product. Not that either is truly better than the other they have their uses..just sometimes one has a preference." Jasmine said before remembering something else. "Do you have any additional materials so I can make it more customized, it would also go a long way towards improving the draw strength if you let me use some of that wire of hers. By her I mean Nuibari, I see she's still sleeping so you haven't had a chance to really get to know her yet still I'm familiar with her ability to produce wire thread. What is your upper limit in strength & what is the highest amount of strength you are comfortable in using just so I can take that into account." she said realizing that shino- wait no they were called soldiers now, were in regards to hiding their skills but if she was to make a custom order then she wanted it to fit it's wielder to a t.

"Is that, the only thing you request though? If so I can have it done in at most 3 days, I'm usually pretty busy but for someone of your status I can prioritize."

Perhaps it was rather impersonal to be wearing her blindfold when she was talking to someone that was actually important. Usually she didn't think about it but this might turn into a lengthy conversation. Reaching up, Asura untied her blindfold and pulled it away, wrapping it around her bicep instead so that she wouldn't lose it. She then turned, regarding Jasmine with her dull purple eyes. It wasn't that they were lacking in anything, the colours were just oddly muted, much less vibrant than one would normally expect. She scanned them over Jasmine before cocking her head to the side and then reaching up to gently tap her lips. "I do not fire very often, so a Recurve bow would be for the best. As for my strength... I am capable of Kage levels of strength easily and those are what I generally use however I can... On occasion, reach an even greater level than that so I would suggest making the bow compatible with strength of that degree."

She nodded and then drew out a small knife, flicking it and breaking the transformation technique so that it revealed itself as Nuibari. She pulled a length of string out from it, around twenty five feet and then snapped it off with a quick jerk of her arm before putting it down on a counter. "It is possible that I could bring you more materials, I have been contemplating hunting a God Beast to truly test out my skills so I might be able to bring you something from that however I would much rather use that for a later weapon. So for the moment just use normal materials alongside Nuibari's string." She put the weapon away and then sighed quietly. "How have you found your time in the Shogunate, Jasmine?" Asura asked quietly, raising an eyebrow. She was honestly just wishing for some normal conversation. She didn't like being business all the time although it was pretty much necessary... Was it possible that Asura could actually make a friend? Then again, Jasmine didn't seem to be feeling very well at all, so the chances of anything like that were... Low.

Jasmine would nod, doing a quick calculation in her mind and thankfully it was length from Nuibari that she would have some left over to make adjustments, Kage level strength huh, so she wanted something very sturdy, she could do it, she could probably even make a standard version for sale later obviously not using that specific wiring but it was a thought for the future. "It will cost you forty-five thousand, my price is non negotiable. As for additions later yes you can bring them to me at anytime just keep in mind I am busy so it would be best to give me an order in bulk or see one of my apprentices if it's a minor thing." Jasmine said brushing the things she was given against her sealing tattoos and sealing them away into Digitized Storage. She hadn't really cared about Asura wearing a blindfold she assumed she had her reasons and didn't want to pry though she had pretty unique eyes though faded for some reason.

"Perhaps it was a vision thing, sensitive to sunlight or something." Jasmine thought to herself before her thoughts ceased when Asura tried making small talk, she would humor her it wasn't out of actual interest just merely respect for her position and the business mindset of not wanting to burn a potential bridge. Asura did take Rika's place as the wielder of Nuibari and had command of one of the clans so it was a sound business investment. The only Mishura she spoked to was Haru, they played chess on very rare occasion but she didn't now if Asura knew or rather associated with him. "Hm, well I suppose it's truly become my home I don't think I'll ever go back to the mainland. The people are friendly and I don't need to lock my doors because people know me and my friends, so it is much safer than living in the Land of Beginnings at the very least." she gave a good textbook answer it was the truth though she had gotten used to the peaceful life before that it was hectic, now things had slowed down to the point that she could retreat into her home for months without anyone disturbing her peace.

"What about you? Oh and how is Cyrus I had heard you were...fucking dating him or something? If you can send him my regards." She would keep the real comment in her head, it wasn't thought out of malice or anything just Rika's harsh words reverberating in her skull. Cyrus was an business partner at most a mutual friend and only though Rika, though she could see why he would cheat on her with Asura. Out of the two she had clearly won the genetic lottery, her friend on the other hand while womanly she was cute yes but men typically appealed more to sexy when it came to fucking than cute. Cute was safe, sexy was hot.

A soft smile lit up Asura's face at the mention of her new weapon being a minor thing. As she mulled over what to say however she drew out a few coin-sticks, just a length of metal with xel coins placed on it for ease of transport. She quickly counted out forty five, although more using her fingers, her eyes unfocusing. It was a bother to not use her eyes very often but she had learned ways to adapt. Once it was all counted out she placed them down near Jasmine for her to pick up before placing her hands behind her back and chuckled quietly. "Oh, I wasn't going to be asking for a minor thing. In fact, what I am going to do might interest you very much depending on your own fancies. For you see I plan to have a rather fantastic bow created and I won't settle for normal materials. I notice few people do it so I am going to hunt down God Beasts. I already have a plan to head on an expedition to the Land of Graves in order to find myself a Rebidiora. I believe a Kushala Daora and either a Kirin or a Goa Magala will complete my bow. Three fine beasts." She closed her eyes for a moment and smiled, almost savagely before she coughed quietly and brought herself back into line.

When Jasmine asked her questions however, Asura gave a small frown. It didn't last long as she quickly started talking. "I have found my time in the West Continent to be... Too quiet. I am used to living rather rough, to having to fight just to survive and yet here I don't have to do that. I cannot tell if that is better. Sure I don't need to sleep with one eye open anymore but I can't help but feel that I am becoming weaker as I do so, that my lack of action is making me... Useless." She clenched her hands behind her before shaking her head. "Perhaps that is why I wish to hunt God Beasts, to prove that I am still strong. As for Cyrus and myself well... I'm honestly not sure what is going on. I thought it was naught more than a passing dalliance but with the the children..." She grimaced and shook her head. "I shall spare you the details Jasmine, I do not wish to bother you." She said simply before moving around, looking at anything particularly interesting.

"Do you know many of the Blades, Jasmine? I do not, I know naught of them and I am almost too scared to ask someone or hunt them down in case I find them against my tastes." She left unsaid that someone she didn't like she would scarcely be able to work with, she wasn't the most understanding of people and Asura freely admitted that. Just the thought of remembering Xing's words that she was pregnant with Tikatchi's child put her on edge and had her resisting the urge to grind her teeth together in rage. "Even Cyrus I know little of." She whispered with a sigh before peeling back a curtain to look outside, narrowing her eyes sharply against the brighter light.

If Jasmine was of a sound mind she would of been rather excited by Asura's declaration however she didn't react much at all other than noting it in her memory and making a Hn sound. "If that's the case then yes that would be something you should leave to me, God Beast carves are of the best quality. Still interesting that you would choose to hunt for them in the Land of Beginnings, does the Imperial Continent not have God Beasts as well?" Jasmine said merely curious since the Shogunate didn't have any footholds in Origin Continent anymore it was risky still Asura was a Blade so she was more than capable of protecting herself. Still she was interested on a purely professional level in the carves of the Imperial Continent, simply due to her having some knowledge of the fauna within the origin continent by virtue of her trade. She wasn't a tamer but she did make it her business to know about fauna on the chance that she got a job to make clothing or armor from them.

"Hm, yeah it is quiet, but only your type of people..Soldiers I mean would see that as a bad thing. Peace is good, businesses flourish people don't die in droves but if your looking for a thrill I thought that's why the pits were a thing, keeping ones skills sharp on the threat of death?" she said shifting a bit before allowing Asura to change the topic somewhat. "Not counting you? I'm very close friends with an Ex-Blade Rika Ryuude and Rainer Hokkai. I count Haru Mishura as one of my friends and I'm acquaintances Cyrus and another Ex-Blade by the name of Kimiko V. Sasori. The others I know little of, but I have seen fliers about Kami so I know one of them worships the same deity I do. I could tell you about them if you like we can start with the one who both know of, Cyrus and your relationship talk isn't a bother if you need something to get off your chest I can be a confidant offer a different perspective as I have spoken to him in both a professional and recreational setting. Apparently his family and mine have a history tracing back a few hundred years." she said a hollow laugh, filling the space of what would of been a genuine chuckle.

"I wouldn't think to tell anyone, then again I don't really talk to many people nowadays as you can see by the state of things." she said gesturing with a wave of the hand, she noted that Asura could in fact see, judging by the visible reaction to the light but didn't comment on it further selling the fact that perhaps she was sensitive to light or perhaps had weak eye-muscles. It happened occasionally genetic defects and all of that, still it didn't seem to hinder her nor was it polite to really comment on it especially since she had just met her. But in reality she couldn't be bothered to care about things like that, whether or not Asura was or wasn't blind didn't affect her in any way and she lacked the innate curiosity that she used to have in regards to such things.

"I believe that the West Continent does indeed have its own God Beasts however very little has been documented of them so far. At least as far as I can see and I am much more informed in regards to the Origin Continent. I feel it right that I should prove my mastery over such first before returning and doing the same here, I do still have armour and a sword to have created." She smiled slightly and dropped the curtain, enjoying the dimmer light levels. She didn't feel quite right walking around with her blindfold off, at least outside, it almost felt like everyone was judging her, or looking just to see what her eyes were but Asura knew truly that she was just being paranoid. Her blindfold was still a security blanket, all it done was make her feel better but she had never found a way to shuck it, not really. She turned away and moved to a counter, gently wiping it with her hand to clear away any possible dust but she didn't hop up to sit down on it although she was tempted.

"Rika... She was the previous wielder of Nuibari, I hope she isn't too bothered by my taking of it." She stroked her fingers against the needle sword and then finally leaned against the counter, crossing her arms across her chest. She didn't mention Rainer, that little mongrel. However, one name did intrigue her. Both of her eyes snapped onto Jasmine and narrowed. "Haru Mishura? Tch... Never realised that he was one of the Blades, I'll need to have a..." She paused and clenched her jaw before looking off and away. "...Talk with him. I can't have a member of my clan running rogue, not truly... Hopefully he is doing well." She murmured before sighing quietly. She hoped he would accept his place and return to the clan, she wanted to reunite them but if he didn't, if he had lost contact... She couldn't let their secrets get out, it was as simple as that. "Kami huh... Interesting." Was all she commented on Vendetta, she knew that was whom Jasmine was speaking of.

Then it came to Cyrus. "My relationship talk is a bother to me. I find myself strangely loose lipped... Being vaguely normal in society is a difficult transition and I wish to talk but I worry that I will say too much. I have... An unpleasant past, then again doesn't everyone?" She flashed Jasmine an empty grin before looking down to the ground. "Why don't you talk? Tell me what is on your mind then? I would not put my trust in someone without having something to use as collateral, brash and rude perhaps but safe, pragmatic." A shrug followed that and she lifted one leg, crossing her ankles so that she could put her foot down toes first on the floor to keep herself propped up. "I don't believe I even want a relationship, it was a before the war decision, something stupid of me but my emotions were somewhat rampant... I regret it now." There were a lot of things that Asura wanted to say but she couldn't, not to this woman, not to anyone, they were just... Too close to her heart... Too close to the bone.

Jasmine would nod, at Asura's reply, thought noting that Rika's word were very much off the mark, Cyrus seemed to have a type though seeing as they were rather similar to each other, not to mention a Zireh fetish apparently. "Understandable, I think the Hokkai would have more info on the fauna native here so perhaps you could speak with Rainer. As for Rika, she wasn't upset about the Blade, she did retire after all though I was under the impression that you and Cyrus were serious. Did you know they had a thing at the time? Him and Rika I mean" Jasmine said, trailing off but Asura was right people have unpleasant pasts, at least she could agree with her, her childhood wasn't good her teenager years were a mess and her young adulthood had been going well until it crashed and burned.

Now she was in perpetual agony to the point that she felt dead inside perhaps that was why she didn't mind talking about it, she had long since moved past the lack of an ability to speak of it after all if after four years things hadn't changed it was more so a constant that Rebecca was gone not a new trend. "I lost something, someone no, someones plural. I made a sacrifice for someone I love thinking that it was the best course of action and gave my child away to the people who made my life hell wanting to stay with her. Only for that person to leave because of the things I did in order to cope with my problems, you could say I used to be a nymphomaniac it's not exactly a secret. As for my beloved, wherever she is now I don't know, nor have I heard word of my daughter in four and over four years respectively." she said answering and folding her arms to place her head on the table.

"You can sit if you like. But to answer your statement when you arrived, the anger has long since faded and all the hatred I have is for myself and my choices. Family is family, even if they make your life hell and honestly I can't blame them for their actions, I was raised to be the heir of the Kukinorite clan and spat on my birthright because I didn't have the strength to close off my emotions, must be the human in me. I'm soft, and now I have to live with. If you don't want one then don't have one but if your hesitating because you don't want to get attached then you should realize that since Cyrus the father of your children, he's going to be involved in their lives so it can't just be a one off. You'd have to interact with him not only professionally but socially as well, that bond between him and you isn't going to be cut not when the proof of your union grows day by day." she said shifting her head so she could stare at Asura with a solemn look.

Well with permission being given, Asura hopped up, settling her rear on the counter and folding her lithe legs up under her body. Her elbows came to rest on her knees and she put her hands together so that she could rest her chin on them, a soft hum leaving her lips. What the woman was saying did make sense and what she went through was brutal... Asura wasn't sure what she would do if she lost those she loved, well considering that really only counted her children just now, she wasn't sure how she'd deal with that. Did she actually love those two? Probably but her emotions felt so disjointed when she looked at them, had she never loved before? A sigh left her and she shook her head. "I have not exactly had the best family life either. I was born into the wrong little section of the Mishura Clan. I can talk about it now because it doesn't exist anymore but there was a sect that believed in purity of blood, purity of Dojutsu. So when I was born, half Zireh, they didn't let my father see me, they didn't let my mother see me and they exiled her eventually. So I never really knew my parents, not really. I have a book that my father sent me clandestinely and a letter from my mother but that's about it." She tapped her chin with a finger and stared at the floor for a few moments.

"I should probably be quiet. If I continue with what I'm saying it will appear as though I am trying to take the spotlight from you. That's not what I wish. I have gotten over my issues, they weigh on me but I am strong now." She lifted her head and looked over to Jasmine. "A family is not what you are born into, it is what you make for yourself. The bond of the covenant is stronger than that of blood, for our choices are what truly shape our actions. That's why I am confused because... I know that Cyrus is the father of my children and for that I need to have at least a professional bond with him and that is what I am happy with but I don't do affection. My touch is too bloody, every person I look at I think of how to kill. That probably sounds quite bad doesn't it?" She paused and chuckled emptily to herself before speaking again. "My children though, I already love them and I don't know why, they haven't done anything but exist, why do I care so much about them. It almost feels like a weakness because they can be used against me, they can be my foil, my Achilles heel." She closed her eyes and rubbed them with her fingers. "Crass of me, but you asked me to speak." Asura shook her head and sighed softly. "To collapse under such weight however, I can see why it would happen but you shouldn't have let it, we are tough, we can hold ourselves... We shouldn't break so easily. To let yourself become so hollow after losing something is not what you made for." Her eyes locked onto Jasmine, the dulled purple almost black in the dim light. "Why do you let yourself act like this, what did she take from you?"

Jasmine would listen they shared horrible lives, though wheras she was broken from it, it would seem Asura became stronger for it. Parallels it couldn't of been easy, she knew how her own clan treated Zireh, they were worse than scum which is why when she heard of her cousins death she mourned for a bit but knew it had only been coming. If not by battle then by the machinations of the clan, a Zireh clan head within the Kukinorite clan was unheard and something shared throughout the clan after all the Zireh were made by the Rikigaku their rivals, enemies for a time. No she understood where Asura was coming from and why it was hard for her to open up she had embraced one side of her heritage the cold analytic side, the machine rather than the flesh. "I did say I was soft. I was called a genius within my clan, the Kukinorite a clan of geniuses yet I disliked killing. I had to be conditioned to break that impulse, but I could never shut off my feelings it's why I ran away. I was already broken before I met her, fearful for my life no connections to anyone. No sense of duty, the only reason I hadn't been labelled a missing nin is because I never finished my instruction at the academy." She wasn't dodging the question, she was merely giving a background leading up to it.

"You ask what she took from me? It was hope. I don't like being a blacksmith, I don't enjoy making weapons I don't even enjoy making armor I'm good at it, no I can say I'm one of the best at it. But that isn't what keeps me going everyday. That person was, everything my muse, my partner, my savior, my love. That's why I'm hollow, because before I could fake not being broken I could laugh and joke and be normal. You mentioned only being able to look at people and think of how to kill? I see that and more, it was what I was conditioned for no, it was what I was bred for. I needed that hope that I'd be worth something more than what my clan made me for, and without her I don't have that. As for the only other thing I cherished, well she's probably become the weapon I was supposed to be and for nothing. Her gaze itself was lifeless, if eyes were a window to the soul then hers was as dark as the room they sat in.

"You have a family, you have attachments. That doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Loving them is natural, and if they are a weakness then you have to be strong enough so that no one ever exploits it. If you want to be blunt about it, showing him affection just means he'll have even more of a reason to protect your weakness. Bonds like that are a two way street, just as much as they are a double-edged sword. But that's what I think, still you have a purpose your satisfied with, your living and you proved those who treated you like shit wrong? As for me, everything I do without her is like proving everything they did to me was right."

Her eyes stared at the ground for the moments that Jasmine spoke. A myriad of slight emotions ran through Asura's mind and she gave a soft sigh before shaking her head. "You've got it in your head that your happiness, your ability to focus and continue with life rested on her. That's where you are wrong. Strength never rests on another, if another dies we don't just up and die, even if we love them. The sheer fact you sit across from me, breathing, heart beating... Means that you don't need her to be who you are. Your hope comes from you, she was just the catalyst." Asura hopped down from her perch and moved over to stand in front of Jasmine, her eyes unblinking as she watched her. "To give up like you did is what proves them right. To have something taken away from you and for you to just break... That's what proves them right with you being weak. I know for a fact though that you aren't. You wouldn't fight to exist like you do and you wouldn't continue making things like you do if you didn't have a sliver of hope left." Asura held up a hand, index finger and thumb close together.

"When someone loses all hope they have, they don't sit around, they don't do anything anymore. You think I haven't seen it before? I've watched as people in hospitals simply gave up their will, they just lay there and let the world do what it wanted to to them and they died. You still love, Jasmine, that is what matters." She ground her teeth together for a moment. "Righteous anger is what I do, that and killing. When you've slain enough it stops being sport, it stops being fun, even for the truly psychotic of us. I have long since decided that I am not human anymore, I don't deserve to be called one. That isn't me being harsh on myself, that is what this world has made me. My children will grow up to be better than I am, they'll grow up to be cared for but me? I'm past that now." She crouched slightly and then reached forwards, placing her hands on Jasmine's shoulders and giving them a squeeze.

"You. Aren't. We're alike you and I but that's the thing, where I broke myself to become stronger you haven't had the chance to do the latter. You broke and you haven't forged yourself anew yet. I don't do affection, Jasmine, I told you that but I can see the truth when it lies before me. You have the potential to bring yourself back from the brink you are standing on. You haven't fallen yet." Asura gave her shoulders another squeeze before standing once more and heading back to where she had been sitting. "I am basically dead now. My emotions are so muted and dulled that I almost don't feel them. You think the same way, I see it but they're not... Hurt is still raw within you and that's the stepping stone you need. For as long as one emotion still burns to feel, as long as it has a coal... You can kindle that into a flame."

Jasmine would not reply immediately instead she would reach for a filing knife that she kept sharpened for this very purpose and cut a wound down her arm. The sadness the hurt fading away from her eyes and being replaced with just emptiness and she would stare at the blood dripping down her arm for a bit before gazing back at Asura. "There is this thing the people of my specific bloodline, can do." Jasmine said her voice lacking the pain which was normally present and being just a flat pitchless monotone. "It's supposed to give us a rush as out brain has been hard wired to secrete adrenaline upon sight of a blood trigger. Typically it's supposed to give us a sexual high pent full of aggression so must that we seek to increase it by inflicting pain on others until we paint entire battlefields in it. Sadist, it's called, though maybe you have heard of it I don't know whether they teach you soldiers about the 1st Imperial war." she would blink before continuing, though Asura could probably understand the point she was trying to make.

"I use it for my blacksmithing, additional strength and it doesn't matter how skeletal I am. But as you can see I don't have a rush this numbness you speak of I feel it, but you have to understand that this trait is the only thing allowing me to cling to the hurt. There was one other case like this, my grandmother Styx Kukinorite she went numb in this state after the Shogunate took over the Shinobi World, something broke within her and while outwardly she maintained appearance she never once again felt the rush. Psychologically speaking this is as broken as I can get sometimes I think about it, if I hadn't ran away and became a blacksmith. I really consider it, going into Tartaros and fighting until this becomes my default state. That's what eventually happened by the way, to my grandmother I mean, eventually she snapped completely. Jasmine would use her leg to open the oven near her and pull out a tong in order to cauterize the wound and not even flinching in fact she would keep speaking.

"It's degenerative incurable due to our brains being different than normal, even if my beloved did come back to me I'll still end up breaking in a couple of years. I give it five tops, that's why I make weapons. Moral concerns mean very little when I'm just a ticking time bomb. But you, have settled, you have life a family yet you choose to distance yourself because you decided something in the past and your sticking to it. No I don't think you want to feel for them, which is fine I guess. Even though all you have to do to change your circumstance is... she said trailing off and tapping her temple though doing it in a way that Asura might misunderstand and think she was referring to her eyes.

"Let's just agree to disagree then? Besides we did go off topic I do believe you were asking about what I know about the Blades I do talk to yes?"