Future {Closed}

Its funny how two fundamentally different people, who despite using the same mask to hide their real selves, would have never even so much as looked at each other. The two of them slowly climbing the same mountain side beside and yet never even so much as know about each other. That is until that moment. The moment everyone hits at some point in their life. The moment she raised her hand to take hold of the next notch in that mountain side before feeling it give way, and her body be taken by gravity to the depths she had only just crawled out of. A horrible feeling, but one that is so tragic. So molding that it made her see something that she would have never seen before. The hand of another, there to catch her from falling to far.

I can't help but laugh thinking back. I did a lot of laughing. Was something that was like a trademark in a way. Never let others see your inner self. Keep a smile, and laugh. The words of my master. They imprinted their selves around my heart like a chain with a lock and key, and thus I developed a kind of talent of being able to laugh at everything and in any situation. Every situation, but one time, and thinking back to then. I can't help but laugh now. There are a handful of things that I can say without a doubt shaped my life. My father's death. Master Shuin taking me in. Learning of my mother and father's life work. Ignoring my destiny for some time, but finally finding my way back onto the right path. Even the year after making my self known to her, but all of them. All of those experiences did nothing to me compared to seeing her cry that day. I laugh now because all I wanted to do back then is make her smile, and yet I couldn't. I laugh now because she shattered those chains on my heart and now. Now I don't have the strength to re-shackle my heart and put on that mask again.

Years ago, back just after my father's passing I learned something that honestly would have confused so many others, but at the time I didn't care. May be it was the fact I wasn't close to my mother and my father rarely was home to speak to or may be it was Master Shuin's teachings already setting in that made me shrug it off, but I remember the day clearly. Master Shuin decided it was time to train me completely. So he and I chartered a small boat to take us across a channel and out to sea to a small island that I swear to you was like stuck in the eye of a hurricane. No wind or lightning, but the mist there just seemed to circle the island, but the island itself was perfect. The sun shined bright, gentle breeze, cool water, flowers and birds littered the island. I could have easily called it a paradise had Master Shuin not ruined that pure memory of that island with his training. He was a harsh master, but I owe a lot to his teachings back then. He hardened my body, my soul and shattered my mind. He called it the way of his people but honestly I can't say it was the best course of action. Never the less it was there on that island that master told me those words. "Never let others see your inner self. Keep a smile, and laugh." He repeated those words over and over. God I hated that saying. "Keep a smile, and laugh." How could a person actually live like that, but over my time on that island I understood him. Emotion is not always a weakness but it is no more but clouds to the sky. In those moments when you just need the bright sun to warm your soul, those clouds would loaft into the way. Master never wanted me to lose all emotion but rather keep them in check, but the way he went about teaching me that forced myself to lose a lot. He took the feelings away from my heart, stuffed them into a bottle and chunked them into the mist covered seas around that island.

Once he was done restricting my heart with those chains, he told me of my Father's work. I really didn't learn until much later that it was really my mother's work that he took on but none of that really matters. Master Shuin told me about how my family was in debt to another. Not exactly something you try to tell a child. My father worked his entire life to cover the tracks of this other family. He falsified village documents. He put out fake leads about other things to take attention. He even went as far as to actually execute hunter squads sent out after members of this family. You know what shocked me most about all of this. That Master Shuin, who seemed to know everything, didn't know that families name. Didn't know her name. But I guess that goes to show just how much effort my father put into this work. It sounded crazy to me back then. Still sounds crazy when I think about it, but honestly it felt right later on. Back then however, I wasn't accepting to it. I did what every kid would have probably did back then. I shrugged it off as a tale of the past. Not a fortune for the future. I mean, I certainly wasn't going to devote my entire self to protecting a single family. Sounds crazier saying out loud and knowing now what it really means to be a part of the Shogunate Nation. Back then life went on. I trained and got stronger. Master Shuin showed me how to keep that smile always. He showed me the importance of not letting an opponent see anything, and once he was satisfied he'd done his job, he left. The boat returned to the island and picked me up, but I never did see Master again. I tried hiring a ship to take me to that island years ago, but couldn't locate it. Biggest waste of my pay, but master was the last fragment of a family I had, so naturally I searched for him.

Years later, I'd picked up a job as a chuunin instructor which was fine for a while but honestly wasn't me. So I got re-assigned to a detachment of the Shogunate and I moved along with my life. That story my master had told me about my parents work long forgotten. Life was good there for a long time. Soon though something started growing up inside me. A pit kind of in my chest. Like something I should be doing but wasn't. Finally it just got the better of me. I put in a request for time off and travel permission. Master Shuin had taught me a lot, and one of the better things he taught me was manipulating others. I sweetened my request by making it into an information outing. I'd scout some lands far off the Shogunate territory. If I died, nothing would be tied back to the Shogunate, but anything I found out there I'd turn over to them at the end of my travels. I like to think it was that that convinced them to let me go, but honestly as far as I know they could have just sent me out hoping I'd die. I wasn't super liked. Always laughing at people and even in serious combat situations rubbed others the wrong way. I was called psychopath or crazy, which I'm not saying any of that isn't true but I didn't care.

So my travels took me far off into the wilds and into some pretty crazy places. It wasn't until I ran into a very very bad trip that I realized why I was feeling the way I did. So finally, after spending a great deal of time in that drug den, I found my place back on the right road. It didn't take long to find the only surviving member of that family my father had been protecting. She'd take on a bit of power in another land, and without someone like my father cleaning all the tracks, he name floated around giving me small leads to tug on. Eventually I found her. She, much like I used to, thought I was crazy, but I was determined. Her wish was my order. I did things that, well I can't really say I'm not proud of them. I'm actually very proud of many of them. To boil it down and not spend to much time rambling on my glorious accomplishments, had she told me to slit my own throat I would have. I may still, but thankfully she didn't. Well, she stopped me from doing it. So finally accepted, at least partially I began working for her. I relayed thousands of documents to her from all over, but finally I took the time to return to the Shogunate. Of course I still worked for her, but that was something that only a extremely limited number of people knew about, and all of them I was confident I could kill before they spoke.

Life returned to being good again. I was complete, or at least I thought I was. I covered her tracks, took her orders to heart, and continued my track through the Shogunate ranks. I could smile while disemboweling hunter squads of the Shogunate. It was just my current home, not a place I could really align myself with, you know. After all I was in servitude to Her. A servant can't serve two masters. So I kept myself hardened inside to the point I was pretty much dead. Those chains Shuin placed around my heart long rusted shut for good. Then came that one night. I was walking a long path on the back side of the village. Bars and gambling houses, whore houses, and even a few underground markets lined the area. It was like a second home for a clown like me, but not a home for everyone. Some people, some people so pure should never go there. But on that walk home that night a sound caught my ears. A bottle rattled in a dark ally way, and the sound of sobbing could just be heard over the sounds radiating from the bar next to the ally. It pulled me in like a siren's song. Hate tears. No need for them, so I found my self heading into that darkness to stop it, but what I found there. What I found there changed more than my entire life leading up to it. And for the first time ever, I couldn't Keep a smile, and laugh.

I froze there, standing just a few feet from this woman in tears. I should have juggled. I should have fallen. I should have stumbled around like a drunk at the very least. That was the first time I failed her. Simple as that. I can't handle a woman in tears. I do well enough dealing with one or the other but put them together and I, I just broke. I didn't know her, and she didn't know me and yet my body seemed to move on its own. I slumped against the wall and fell to the ground across the ally from her. I'll never forget it. The way she looked up at me as I did. She never did say anything and neither did I. There wasn't anything to be said. I still felt like I had to do something but nothing I would normally do seemed to be right, so I just held out might hand. And her touch. We sat there till she couldn't cry any more and fell asleep. I found myself carrying her to my place the next morning. I still don't konw why, but I realized that there was something else that drew me to her. That walk home I got the first real look at her. At least the best look I could. I don't see details of anything very well because of my eyes, but her, she was like a clear painting and I honestly can't remember a time I've seen anything as beautiful as her sleeping face.

Ha. I uh, I lived in a very small one room apartment. A single futon that rarely got used because I was never there. I guess it worked well enough that night. I laid her there in my apartment, in that dusty futon. God I feel bad thinking back to that. What the hell was I thinking. I should have tried to clean that thing or something. I should have just found a hotel and paid for a room or something. I don't know. No matter what I should have done, I left her there and went back outside my apartment. Sat down with my back against the door, and tried to get what sleep I could. That night had something else special to it. I dreamed. I actually had a dream for the first time in a very very long time. About her face. About those tears running down her face. About how I never wanted to see that again.


Mat wasn't one to talk about the past with anyone. It was kind of his nature to hide things like that. Those who knew everything could do things that would ruin Mat's life. Or worse. Others lives. He wasn't going to let that happen normall. But out here on this road, with this single navigator, he found himself dreaming of the past. Questioning it but at the same time confirming it to himself. Hearing it outloud helped him do that. His past was a jumbled mess as is. He needed this time to sort things out. To sort out these feelings that were coming up.

~Flashback from another side~

Stay strong. Harden the mind and don't let anything show. I can't count the number of times I repeated that to myself. A kunoichi shouldn't get attached. Kunoichi don't need roots to hold them back. Kunoichi need to be light, fast, and strong. Stronger than steel. Sharper than their blades. Faster than the wind. Lighter than the air its self. Fear is weakness. Anger is weakness. Love will get you killed. No tears, but why her. The two of them. We. From the day the Shogunate formed. From the day I set my sights on joining the blades. It was to get closer to you. To prove myself to you. The time we spent together, meant nothing? Why do I have to try so hard? Why do I have to devote myself to everything? Why did I have to fall for him?

I did it even as a kid back then. The shogun's request. I took it like a good kunoichi should. I took it with joy, and for what? To prove my worth to him. How stupid I was. The blood, the gore, the pain. Was it worth it back then? How long did I wait around that village before they finally sent help for me? O that's right. They didn't send help. They left me there to die there too. I should have died then. But I didn't. I survived and made my way back to the shogun. Just to prove myself. To climb higher to be seen. I took that promotion back then, and I continued. I guess that was the first time I met him in person. At the meeting. The whole reason I pushed myself. For him. The blades, the shogun, and him. I stood there next to him. Just to prove that I was of some kind of worth. I took up that blade. I fought beside him and for him. I gave my self to him. I wasted my self on him during that war.

I slaughtered soul after soul after soul under his command. I fought so that he would know me. I lost myself in their blood all so that he would see me completely. I made myself stronger, to be worthy of being at his side. Then may be that was it. I pushed myself further and further, he knew of me. He fought with me, and yet he didn't see me. Is it so hard for him to tell. I loved him. But he took her. Her. She had more worth than I did. She was worthy to stand by his side. I don't know why I carry this blade any more. I don't know why I try any more. I could live with the hope that one day we could still be together, but now. I couldn't forgive myself for trying to pull him from her. From their child. I just don't want to feel this any more. I don't want to feel anything any more. Just please. Let it end.

Rika kept trying console herself that night in the bar. She wasn't doing well though. Her words seemed to just exacerbate her shredded heart. Alcohol wasn't exactly assisting in the matter. It dulled the pain ever so slightly but it was still there, tugging at Rika with every beat of her heart. So she continued. Drink after drink well into the night. Memories of a life wasted drifted around her as she crossed that line of alcoholism. Memories of a life full of pointless memories created the foggy haze in her mind that led to the bottom of the mountain. The Bartender finally cut off the emotional mass that filled Rika's seat, but she wasn't done. Her fumbling hands took hold of another bottle as she stumbled out of her chair. Another worker grabbed her and tossed her into the street as she couldn't walk on her own at this point. You could say, with a fair bit of ease that this was the bottom for her, but who hasn't reacted bad to finding something out. The small kunoichi stumbled her way to the ally next to the bar. She had never thought of suicide before but she didn't have the will to move on any more. There in that ally, Rika curled her self up, giving into the pain.

Mat had finished his most recent mission, a glorious quest at securing the perfect bowl of soup that ended with a mediocre bowl of soup, when he decided to take a long route home. On occasion Mat would peruse the rather darker streets for new attractions. Some highly entertaining things came out of these dark districts. Plus every blue moon or so, Mat found some rather interesting leads on things from some of the drunks in the area. This night in particular, Mat wasn't looking for information. He wasn't looking for entertainment. He was just drawn to this road by some force that he convinced himself was a kind of God of Fate. In reality he was probably just a bit bored and didn't want to go back to that apartment. He secretly hoped for a fight or a dead body or even a lose god beast of the lands. But on this fair evening he found nothing of the sort. No this evening he would find something that would shake him to his core.

The sounds of a bottle rolling on the ground wasn't unusual for this district but the sound of sobbing caught Mat's ear quickly. Who the hell cries in this district... Mat thought to himself as he realized what the sound was. It emanated out from this ally way beside a bar, full of laughter and drunks having a jovial time. Mat couldn't stand tears. It was like a weakness in him that angered him slightly by the sound or sight or even that salty smell of tears. Wasteful thing that should never exist. Only laughter should fill the air ways. Tears just polluted things. Their either meant so much happiness that you forget what happy is so you decide to cry, or enough pain that you can't function. Either way, tears were pointless and should be stopped. With all this in mind Mat entered the ally way. Smile painted on his face and words ready to flow out, he set off on this new mission, but was quickly frozen.

Its hard to describe exactly what Mat saw there. Born into the Makihoshigo family, Mat's eyes only saw outlines of things at best. Details wasn't something he could make out. Flowing water, the outline of a hand, the crease of a mouth were all things he could make out with ease at this point, but beauty was never something that crossed his mind. Seeing that girl, curled up, bottle in hand and tears staining her face, froze Mat. No, it did more than that. It shattered Mat in that one instant. Could it be that even a blind person could be struck with love at first sight? Such a cliché thing to say really. But there isn't much of a better way to say it. Her soft features, and yet her hardened hands, they captivated Mat in that one instant and his smile disappeared. Replaced by something between worry and shock Mat couldn't say a word. He wanted to help her. He had to help her, but he couldn't help her. Broken in that instant, Mat did the one thing his body would let him do. He moved quietly and silently to the wall across from the woman. With his back on the wall, he slid down and curled his knees up, sitting across from the woman in that ally. Her face lifted up to look at him a moment as if waiting for words to leave his mouth. But no words were said. The empty bottle she had been clinging to pulled around her legs bringing her tighter into a ball and away from Mat. Still no words came from Mat as they sat there looking at each other. Instead, only a hand came out. He reached out, just half way across the ally. It took a little before finally, her hand met his. Just two fingers gripping onto each other as Mat sat there in silence next to her. He just had to be there, till finally she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Rika pulled her self close and tight together. Her hand still clutching that one bottle tightly, as if it was the last thing in this world she had. The foul stench of trash filled the air of the ally and some how Rika just accepted it, as though she too had been tossed out with the trash. Forgotten and discarded like everything from before was just a distant memory. He feelings of misery of seeing them together day in and day out left her body feeling no better than her mind. She just wished this world would forget about her and just let her fade away without anyone remembering her. At least then she wouldn't feel this pain. She wouldn't feel anything. She didn't want to feel anything, and so again she retreated to her drink. The glass bottle raised to her lips and poured another dose of the poison into her soft and subtle lips.

She dug her head into her pulled up knees to hide her face and her tears from the people who passed by the ally way. She wanted to remain hidden away with the trash on the side of that bar. It was far to hard to contain her emotions from vocalizing at this point. The poison had weakened her mind and body till she gave completely in to her misery. Tears flowed freely now till finally there was nothing left to flow. She held back her sobbing but couldn't no more and so she tried her best to muffle the sounds into her arms and knees. The bottle slipped from her trembling hands and clanked onto the ground, and she pulled herself tighter together. Darkness gripped tight around her as she allowed her self to be swallowed deeper in deeper into her misery. She wished only to be left alone to disappear right there.

Like every person though, no matter how deeply they really wish it, everything can change by the actions of a single person. Rika was snapped out of her emotion fuel drunken state as the sound of sliding could be heard. A man had leaned up against the wall across from Rika and slid down to a sitting place across from her. His face was hard, yet his eyes seemed soft. His lips started to part half a dozen times as he tried to speak, but not a sound seemed to escape his mouth. Then finally, instead of a word, he slowly lifted his arm, and extended his hand. Why... echoed inside of Rika's mind, but some how it was exactly what she needed. A person to reach out to her. A person to show her than she still existed, and more importantly a person to show her she still had worth. Rika inter locked two fingers with this man's hand, and the two of them sat there till she peacefully drifted off.